Merry Christmas and have a great New Year.

First of all this will be my last post of the year. I need to take some time to enjoy the holidays and finish some work on some other thing.

I’m getting a little worried about where this country is headed for next year. I was relaxed watching TV on a Saturday. A show came on about the upcoming movies that will be released in 2011. I’m not going to mention their names, because I want to give them as little promotion as possible.

The first movie was about two female “friends”, they were more than just best friend forever if you know what I mean. I don’t even want to refer to them by what they are actually called. The plot of the movie was that they wanted to start a family and got a withdrawal from a certain type of special bank, where there vaults are not filled with money, if you know what I mean. The kids that they had wanted to meet their father. So these poor kids have two mothers and some dad that needed some money so he made a donation of himself other than blood, if you know what I mean. So basically this movie is all about what is morally wrong with the world and they are trying to make it seem normal.

The other movie that was reviewed was about two people (this one was at least about a guy and a girl) who were just friends with benefits, if you know what I mean. They thought it would be a good idea not to be in an emotional relationship and only a physical one, if you know what I mean. But of course, one falls in love with the other, but the other doesn’t feel the same way. I’ll just say you probably won’t see this one on the Hallmark channel. I’m sure through out this whole movie it doesn’t say anything about waiting till marriage before you get any “benefits” from your significant other, if you know what I mean.

So basically what I am seeing is that all biblical and moral values are being thrown out the window for next year. So I leave you with this for the end of the year.

Luke 2:1-14

1And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.

2(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

3And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

4And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

5To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

6And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

7And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

8And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

9And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

10And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

12And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Or as Linus would say, “That’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.” Not that I am correcting the great Charles Schulz. But, maybe it should have been “That’s what LIFE is all about Charlie Brown.”, if you know what I mean.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Tis the Season to be Jolly

Do you remember as a kid Christmas couldn’t get here quick enough. Not only were you waiting for old Saint Nick to arrive with all the goods, but you also got time off from school to just chill out and relax. Now as adults, we can’t wait for Christmas to get here and be over, because it’s rush, rush, rush all over the place.

It’s only the second day of December and already my calendar is filled with parties and gatherings. Not to mention finding the time to Christmas shop for my wife. Thank goodness for the internet on that one. Plus you have to fit in the normal routine of house chores and going to work. At least while you are running around like one of Santa’s elves who forgot to put marshmallows in the fat man’s coco; you can do it with some sort of Christmas treat like cookies or fudge. My philosophy is if you are going to be stressed out; you might as well do it with something sweet in your mouth. Kind of takes the edge off of things. Have you ever seen a person freak out while holding a ginger bread man? I don’t think so.

‘Tis the season to be jolly, Fa la la la la, la la la la.”

Christmas shopping

Thanksgiving is over. My wife knowing that I would be off from work for four days, made extra so I would have left overs during my vacation. So I have been filling my self with leftover turkey, sweet potatoes, and dressing. For breakfast for the last few days I've started my morning out right with a slice of pumpkin pie. But the big feast is over, after dinner it was time to start the battle plan for Christmas shopping. Time to start operation "Black Friday."

Before I got married my Christmas shopping consisted of going to the gift card rack, giving it a spin and grabbing whatever flew off. I didn't care that my Mom would end up getting $20 at Bass Pro Shop that she would neve use. I was not going to spend more than 5 minutes in a store with all the Holiday shopping nuts. Then I married the four star general of Black Friday shopping. My wife turns into this ultimate warrior only told in Greek fables as she prepares for her conquest of goods. Let me add that my wife is not greedy, she loves a good deal. It all starts with the Thursday news paper loaded with all the adds. They are spread out on the floor like maps of the battle field. Planning the route of attack of who to strike first and who had the best deal. I was recruited as special ops and intelligence gathering. I was to be on the look out for the deals she could not see as well as block the other enemy shoppers from grabbing the deals before her. The mission was to start at 0200 hrs (that's 2:00 in the morning for you civilians). Being the good soilder I am I was prepared for battle. I slept in my unifrom that night. Dressed in my jeans and sweat shirt, I slept on the couch so I could wake up and be ready for battle.

So it began at the first store. We were gathered in front of the first target to be raided with the other warriors. Waiting for the poor undefended soilder to open the gates. When the doors were finally opened it was like the barbarians were storming the castle. One of the warriors tried to flank my wife and I to get into the store first. So I threw an elbow up to block her way, she spoke in a different language, but I was pretty sure she just cussed me out. As we made our way onto the battle field, my wife gving me the orders of wich way to turn, we got stuck behind some confussed and scared rookies. They just stood there in shock watching the horror of what was going on around them. Seeing a small opening, I reached backed and grabbed a hand. I wasn't sure if it was my wife's hand or not, I just knew I only had one chance to get through. So I just pushed my way through until I saw day light, I was so thankful when I looked backed and saw I had indeed had grabbed my wife's hand and didn't leave a fallen soilder behind. We were able to grab the bounty that we wanted and be one of the first in line to check out.

That battle went on for a few hours, when we made our way back to home base we collasped and napped for a few hours. When I woke up I rewarded myself with a job well done by making my favorite, turkey, stuffing and cranberry sandwich. The taste of victory is so sweet.

Money

I teach a young married Bible study class at my church. This month we are doing a study on finances based off of Dame Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. He has some biblical principles to help people get out of debt. The church in a whole has been giving classes to over 80% of the church to help everyone out in these hard economic times. The goals are to help families overcome the burden of debt and help reduce the financial stress that is on most marriages. In the long run if the majority of people in our church have no debt and are managing their money well, we can better serve the community needs. This program is not a quick fix with short term goals, but a slow process with long term results. My wife and I have already gone through the classes and have notice a big difference with our money in a positive way.

So our Sunday school class topic was on saving.

Proverbs 21:20 “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has.”

We talked about the importance of saving for the future and to be prepared for when a crisis strikes the family. Also we talked about the example we are teaching our kids by saving. Someone brought up that kids just see us swipe a card when we purchase something. This made me think how often I use cash, never. Then I began to realize that our whole society could be based on imaginary magical numbers. I don’t get a paper pay check anymore. My numbers are directly deposited to my account; I don’t even get a print out of my numbers that I earn anymore. If I want to see how many numbers I have I go online and see if I have more numbers than I did before. If I want to buy something I take my card and swipe it then they deduct some numbers from my account. When I pay my bills I go onto my computer and move some numbers from one place to another. It is like a video game, if I have a lot of numbers at the end of the month I win. Can we call it money anymore when it’s really just some numbers on the screen? Do they even need to print money anymore?
So here is what we are teaching our kids. If you go to a store, pick out what you want, you just wave this magic card through a slot and that’s it. What kids don’t understand is why dad is pulling his hair out and screaming because the numbers at the end of the month are not as big as they need to be, in fact they might have a little minus sign in front of them, which means game over. By the way one of Dave’s lessons is to buy everything in cash. Cash is easier to keep track of and harder to let go of. If you don’t have the cash to buy something then you don’t need it and shouldn’t buy it.

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

If we have kids, I hope to teach them how to save their money. After all they'll be deciding which retirement home to put me in.

Two year Anniversary

So I missed Monday’s post because it was my two year anniversary being married to my wife. The first year was fun settling down and getting to know each others little habits and really planning our future together. The second year, though just as fun, went by really fast. I think that first year of being married you ignore the fact that life is going on around you, but the second year you end up trying to catch up with it.

The first year we were married, we had one major incident. That was when I was rushed to the hospital because my heart decided it wanted to try and jump out of my chest. As scary as that was, it was one of those moments you are thankful for that person God put in your life. If it was not for my wife being stubborn and taking me to the ER, I probably would not be here sharing my random meaningless thoughts with you now. But other than that we spent our first year traveling wherever we wanted to go and fixing our house up the way we wanted it, just being carefree newlyweds. You would do anything for each other to make sure the other person is happy. But the second year comes along and it’s as if God says ok no more fun, time for real life to hit you. So what happens in the second year is that you spend a Sunday morning trying to save everything on the bathroom floor from getting wet, because the last owners never had the septic tank pumped in the 13 years they owned the house and it decided to back up on you right before you go to church. Your marriage hits an all new level when you have a discussion looking down a septic tank drain asking your significant other,” Do you smell how bad that is?” That happened earlier in the year, the rest of the year was spent discovering new things about ourselves.

I never new I had a side of the bed. Until I was 35 I’ve slept alone spreading out and rolling to whatever side I wanted to sleep on. Sure early in my life I had a small twin bed that with one wrong move and I would end up having the dream that I was falling only to find out I was actually falling off the bed. But, in my adult years I had a queen bed all to myself, I would sleep dead center of it. When we got married we purchased a king size mattress, now I’m not saying that I haven’t slept in two years. But, I’ve always felt something was not quite right. So recently we decided to switch sides of the bed, you know mix things up a little to keep our relationship spontaneous. It was like discovering a new land, I was so comfortable. My wife said, “Why didn’t we try this sooner, I love it over here.” So we learned something very important after two years of marriage. I like to sleep on the left side of the bed and she likes the right side of the bed. I think because of this huge discovery our marriage will last a long time. Well that and we love each other and I can’t imagine my life without her.

Happy Anniversary

Today is my two year wedding anniversary. We celebrated by taking a trip to the mountains and spending time together this weekend. So as I say at the top of this blog that I will post a comic on Monday and Thursday, unless life gets in the way. Well, life got in the way, but in a good way. Happy Anniversary to a very wonderful person, companion, and best friend.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

A dark and stormy night (blog)

“It was a dark and stormy night….” These words were typed many times by Snoopy. He would often sit on top of his dog house to write the great American novel. Why did he start off like this? Maybe he thought he was adding some mystery or suspense to what he was about to write, maybe he just didn’t know what else to say.

According to my post counter I have written over 40 posts, that is a lot of rambling on about nothing. Looking back I have written a lot about my stubborn cat, my lovely wife, married life, what I did when I was single and other bits of useless information. Now I have my reasons, this blog is sort of like a public diary to record things for ideas for the comic. I am hoping to send this comic to a syndicate and be published. I’ve always enjoyed drawing cartoons and didn’t think it was that hard to write a three or four panel gag every day.

This week it has been raining a lot. What do we do when it rains? Nothing, when the wife and I do nothing I have nothing to write about. I could write about the new addition to our family, no not what you are thinking. We have somehow adopted a tailless cat. We call her Buttercup, Butter for short. She’s a big clumsy cat that comes inside, eats, wants petted for a little bit, and goes back outside. My cat doesn’t seem to mind, he knows who the king of the house is. My work is pretty much routine. Oh I could come up with something to write, like how I think it is gross to use the bathroom at work because either some guy comes in and wants to have an office meeting while I’m standing there trying to use the bathroom. Or, how I hate the feeling of sitting on a warm toilet seat knowing someone was just there before me and most of the guys in my office don’t practice decent hygiene. I could complain about people in general, and how I get a chuckle when people ride my tail when I am driving and pass me to either get behind the slow person that was in front of me or get caught at the red light. No matter what I end up right behind them, I like to wave at them in their rear view mirror.

So syndicates require you to submit at least 30 daily comic strips and 4 Sunday comics to show that the comic has enough material to regularly be published everyday. Charles Schulz’s Peanuts was turned down many times, because most syndicates thought he couldn’t come up with enough ideas and stories about a bunch of kids. He could only come up with 50 years worth of stories. After my 44 little blog posts, I think I know what was happening when Mr. Schulz had a writers block. “It was a dark and stormy night….”

putting on pants

Halloween has passed, which means the Holidays will be quickly approaching. Approximately, 7 weeks till Christmas. One of the great things about this time of year is I bring out the sweat and flannel pants to sit around in. This is when you will see me of an evening or weekend sitting around in my comfortable stretchy pants. My cat loves this time of year because it gets cold for him too and he sits by the couch waiting for me to sit down so he can lie next to me and get warm. Now he has a choice to make, sit next to me or share the blanket with my wife that she hibernates under all winter.

My wife has broken part of my tradition of wearing sweat pants. I used to enjoy Thanksgiving when I was single. Most people did not understand that I looked forward too spending this time alone. I would get a big steak, baked potato, mac and cheese, and a pumpkin pie all too my self. Along with some other snack favorites like cookies and Little Debbie cakes. I would sit around all Thanksgiving weekend; watching football and dumb movies, enjoying my bounty of food, all while enjoying the freedom that the elastic from my sweat pants would allow my stomach to grow. Then when my wife and I started dating I had to go to her family for the holidays. It was nice because there was more food to eat, but it wasn’t the same. I had to put on pants. That’s right, it’s strange to say but when you get involved in a serious relationship with someone you have to put on pants for the holidays.

Not that I am complaining about being married or that my Holidays have been ruined. I mean I do get to eat more food that I didn’t have to cook and it is nice to spend time with someone you love during this time of year. But when you indulge yourself with the amount of intake of food that I do around this time of year, the last thing I need is a leather strap around my waist to hold back the expanding mass of girth, a.k.a. my stomach. So now goodbye Halloween and hello Holiday season, it is the most wonderful time of the year. Even with out my stretchy pants.

Great Pumpkin

So this coming weekend is Halloween. We all know what that means. “The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” will be on TV soon. It first aired in 1966, 44 years ago. My two favorite parts of the show is when Charlie Brown says, “All I got was a rock.” and Snoopy’s appearance as the World War I flying ace. It is amazing how after so many years that this is still a family favorite and still can hold its own against any of the new Holiday specials that have came out, did you see the Shrek Halloween special? Not even close.

A little fun fact about the Great Pumpkin, if you look close while the kids are trick or treating, you can see the rocks being thrown into Charlie Browns bag at each house. Charlie Brown's repeated line of "I got a rock" caused some stir among many viewers of the show, according to Charles Schulz in the book and retrospective TV special "Happy Birthday, Charlie Brown". Schulz said that after the program first aired, bags and boxes of candy came in from all over the world "just for Charlie Brown."

This is my favorite time of year, you have three great Holiday specials coming up; “The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown”, “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving”, and of course “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” With the best line of them all “That’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.” And I get to hear my favorite music “Linus and Lucy” by Vince Guaraldi, this was played at my wedding. So while everyone will be trick or treating or attending costume parties, you might find me in the middle of a pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin to rise up and give out toys to all of the good boys and girls. What? If you can believe in that silly old man in the red suit going ho ho ho, I can believe in the great pumpkin.

The Amazing Race

Every Sunday evening the wife and I like to watch one of our favorite shows together, “The Amazing Race.” If you are not familiar with it, it is about couples who race all over the globe and compete in different tasks; from selling sunglasses in New Guinea to repelling off a bridge in Sweden. It’s neat to see the different places they get to travel to and the people they run into, as well as entertaining to see how the couples interact when the situation gets stressful.

While watching last nights show my wife pointed out something to me that I never noticed before. When ever the teams go to a different country and get lost they are able to ask someone for directions in English. Now that doesn’t surprise me that much, that English is one of the more dominant languages in the world, but that had me think to last weekend when we were at our big garage sale. I can remember at least three times when I was trying to sell something to someone, what I was saying had to be translated for the person to understand. So I’m wondering if more people out of our country can speak our language than people who live in our country? Go ask for directions at a gas station our walk around Wal-Mart and it will make you think if you are the only true blooded American in your zip code. But I don’t want to get into a political discussion, just making an observation.

Proverbs 15:18
A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.

In an about two weeks my wife and I will be married for two years. I was trying to picture what we would be like on “The Amazing Race”. I mean we get frustrated if we take a planned road trip with a GPS, I would hate to think how stressed out we would get if we were lost in a foreign country. I would be yelling how much I hated the place we were at and that everybody that lived there was stupid. My wife would just continually be repeating, “Take me home. Just take me home.” Then when it came to a physical challenge, I would be mad at whatever equipment we were working on and probably try and throw it into the closest ocean or off a mountain, my wife would just continually be repeating, “I can’t do this. Take me home. Just take me home.” But, because we are both stubborn and competitive people we would complete whatever task we needed to and probably win the whole thing (my wife hates losing). Also, we would apologize to one another and tell each other how much we love each other and move onto the next day. The one big thing I’ve notice watching “The Amazing Race.” The couple who encourages each other the most and has the most patients with each other will normally win. That’s how our first two years of our marriage went, and that’s how we will be married for a long time. But I don’t think we will be applying to be on “The Amazing Race”, though I bet we would make for some good TV.

Colossians 3:12-13
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Garage sale.

This past weekend I had a mini vacation. I took Friday through Tuesday off from work. Not for any other reason, other than I had the vacation days to burn. If I don’t use them, I lose them. So from now till the end of the year, I do not work a full month. That’s the way it should be all the time, no one should have to work everyday. We all should have that time and catch up on the waste of time I call day time TV; reruns and game shows. I tried to use the time to get a few project done around the house. But instead, I ended up getting ready and doing a big garage sale my church put together.

This was a fun Saturday. I was at the church at 5:00 in the morning, ON A SATURDAY!! I did not know 5:00 am, existed on a Saturday. When I was young and single I was out until at least 2:00 in the morning and slept till noon, then got married and maybe stay up till 11:00 pm and try to sleep till noon. Even as a kid a slept in till I knew the first Saturday morning cartoon was coming on. It was cold that morning, and I was helping direct the traffic of people coming to unload their valuable sale items. The wife and I had our own treasures. I couldn’t tell you what they were. That’s the funny thing about stuff in the closet and attic. We were keeping it for a reason I’m sure. Maybe because we thought it was worth something. Because, some old plastic thing collecting dust in the back of the closet is going to help you retire early. So the night before the sale, my wife and I went through our things to see what we wanted to keep and get rid of. I had a hard time letting go of some stuff. In particular some Looney Toons kitchen items, I thought these things were priceless. Sold it all for $1.00 at the sale, I couldn’t give the stuff away. No one picked it up till they were the last few items on the table. Some people don’t have good taste. My wife had a hard time letting go of some of her Christmas decorations. How many snowmen wearing scarves and Santas holding candy canes does one person need? But some people just had to have it. It amazes me what people would pick up and buy. One guy bought a bag of miscellaneous screws, after talking to him; I think he had a few screws loose in the head. All in all we sold $120 of junk. We don’t miss any of it. My wife made the mistake of checking on the internet how much some of her decorations were worth, she found a few of them going for around $100.00. She sold them for $3.00. Yard sale tip: research your items before selling them. That crap sitting in the back of your closet collecting dust could be worth something.

The other negative to the day was that I got a horrible sun burn on my head. Even though it is not hot outside and it is close to fall; when the sun is out and you stand under it for 10 hours on a black top parking lot, you might get burned. For those that have a hair follicle challenge, you can get burned really badly. Two things happed when a bald guy gets burned; one you get the same question or comment over and over again, didn’t you wear a hat? Uh duh, apparently I did not. The second thing that happens is that over time the skin on the head gets dry, starts to crack and peal; and people begin to look at you like you have gotten some sort of virus. Not to mention the pain of the shower water hitting the burn as well, OUCH!

But it was a good long weekend. I did get a few projects done around the house. When I took a break and turned on the TV I found a show where actors go to kill their careers, “The Family Feud.” I was surprised to see Steve Harvey as the host, I thought that guy from “Seinfeld” was the host. My wife thought the guy from “Home improvement” was still doing it. I did remember Louie Anderson (former comedian) was the host for a while. No one could ever replace Richard Dawson. Well, they had to because he died. I don’t know which is worse, the fact that this show is still on or that I know all of the hosts in order. I saw a home version of the game at the garage sale; I was tempted to buy it. But it would have just ended up in the back of the closet collecting dust.

Richard Dawson
Ray Combs
Louie Anderson
Richard Karn
John O'Hurley
Steve Harvey

You didn’t believe I knew that did you.

the cat.

I have mentioned my cat (Shadow) a few times in this blog. I've had this cat for nearly 8 years. So he has been with me through a lot of good times and bad. I always wondered what he would say about it all if he could talk. Some may think a single guy with a cat is a little wimpy, and a dog would make a better companion. But I knew how much work and attention a dog takes. You need to take them for walk, you can't leave them alone for too long, vet bills, and obedience training. I like dogs, I just didn't have the time for all that. Cats, they need a place to eat, sleep and use the bathroom and they are good.

I don't know if it was the way I took care of him or his personality, but Shadow is a very unique cat. He got his name because as a kitten he would chase the shadow of my hand all over the house. To this day he still tries and catch my shadow. He is also a very curious cat. If you put a box on the floor, he will find a way into it, no matter how big or small. He figures out how to lay down in the box and go to sleep. This cat loves to sleep in different places. I have found him sleeping in the cupboard above the refrigerator, the dryer that was left open, and on some book cases. My favorite was when he crawled into the sleeve of my coat that was laying on the floor.
Now Shadow is not your typical cat when it comes to people. Normally there are two types of cats. The ones that run and hide when company comes over, and the ones that hang out for the extra attention. Shadow likes to hang out when company comes over, but he also likes to act all cute a friendly, and just when the unknowing victim gets close enough to pet him, Whack! He takes a good swipe at them. Anything under 4 foot tall is fair game to him, he thinks he can take them down like a cheetah chasing down a antelope. So I have to warn people when they come over to not pet the cat and keep their small children away from him. But do they listen, No. Shadow does his thing where he roles on his back and gives this look that says, rub my tummy. Whack! He walks away with this strut like he's all proud, almost like he's laughing at his latest victim. Most of my friends have scars from previous visit to the house of pain. Shadow helped me picked out my wife through this process. She is the only person I know that he did not scratch. From the beginning he has let her pet him and pick him up with out a trip to the hospital for her. So I figure if she was good enough for Shadow, she was good enough for me. My brother and his family once stayed for a few days at my house. My brother had a air mattress setup in my living room. So Shadow thought this was a new place for him to sleep. So in the middle of the night he jumped on the mattress and tried to curl up next to my niece. My brother didn't want him to pop the mattress, or scratch his daughter, so he tried to scare him away buy whipping the pillow at him. Shadow just stood his ground and tried to fight back.

This brings me to an event that happened this weekend. My wife and I were coming home from church to find the neighbor's dogs laying in the middle of our yard. They are friendly dogs and normally if you walk over to their gate they will run back in. So I was going to go in, change my clothes and then go put the dogs back in their fence. But, when we opened the door Shadow got out. My wife and I were ready to scoop Shadow up and get him back in the house before the dogs would get to him. To our surprise Shadow got to the top step of the porch and arched his back like cats do. The dogs stood at attention, lowered their heads, and walked back to their yards. Just for good measure and I guess to prove his point. Shadow walked closer to the edge of the our yard, and the dogs got up and went further to the other side of their yard. He looked up at me and and gave me this look like “There you go.” I went over to the dog's gate to let them back in their fence. Those dogs kept on looking over their shoulders like they were afraid Shadow was going to sneak up behind them. For all you people that say dogs are mans best friend, that fine. But my cat is my protector.

Halloween

So Halloween is a few weeks away. You know what that means…CANDY!!! It also means that people are thinking of a costume to wear. Not just kids, but adults as well. Now I go to a church that does not believe in celebrating Halloween, they don’t want to promote ghost, goblins, and witches. But they have a fall carnival so the kids can still get their yearly sugar high and advance tooth decay. I don’t totally agree with this, I see no problem letting your kids pretend to be something else and go begging door to door for people to give them something. It’s good training in case their future is in sales. Also as long as you explain that the creatures of the night are not good and not real, what’s the problem if they dress up like their favorite cartoon character or super hero, I love wearing a cape when I was a kid. It would be fun to wear one today, but that’s a different story.

What I don’t understand is the amount of money some parents put into their kids costumes. They are only going to wear it maybe for a few days out of the whole year for a few hours. Where’s the imagination in that? My mom would help us make our own costume or sew something together. She did once buy part of a costume. Remember the old plastic Halloween masks. The ones that were cheap plastic, the front were molded into the characters face, the back was just a little stretch string that went around the head. If you pulled too hard to would either snap or rip the mask. It had two pin size holes to barely help breathing, who knows what type of plastic fumes we were inhaling. It had two other holes that allowed you to see, but it gave you total tunnel vision. You could see a few feet in front of you, but forget about seeing the on coming car approaching from the left or right of you. So one year my mother got me one of these mask, the Lone Ranger. I was excited, and I already had the guns and a plastic sheriff badge. She made the rest of the costume from some old clothes. I was happy, and I still got the goods that night as well. The next year mom used the same mask; no I was not the Lone Ranger again. That is a Halloween fashion crime to be the same thing twice in a row. We took a magic marker, colored the white hat black, drew a little mustache, and with the already black mask that was there. Viola, you get Zorro. Add one sword made of newspaper and aluminum foil, dress in black. You get one happy kid chasing the cat around the house.

Why put in a lot of work and money for one night. The kids just want to run around and get candy. Candy that has gotten smaller over the years, I remember getting the big chocolate bars and hand full of candy. Now they have this bite size and mini bars crap, which people pass out just one of, whatever. If you grew up on a single dead end street like I did, you knew which neighbor passed out the good stuff. The guy across the street would pass out big Clark bars, and I could always count on the older people at the end of the street to give out handfuls of fire balls. Then you always have the house that gives out apples or a single stick of gum. Are you kidding me! Then there is the all time traditional candy….candy corn. You either love it or hate it. I love the stuff. You know families buy this stuff in bulk and it keeps for years and years. By the way just because it has corn in the name does not make it a vegetable. I never understood why they called it candy corn, so I looked it up on Wikipedia, so it must be true.

Candy corn is a confection popular in the United States and Canada, particularly in autumn around Halloween.
Candy corn was created in the
1880s by George Renninger of the Wunderlee
Candy Company, the three colors
of the candy mimic the appearance of
kernels of corn. Each piece is
approximately the size of a whole kernel from a ripe or dried ear. Candy corn is
made primarily from sugar, corn syrup, artificial
coloring and binders.
A serving size of 22 pieces contains 140 calories and no fat.

I bet there is some old woman out there that drags out this big jar of candy corn every year for Halloween, it may be some of the original stuff. I bet a 130 year old piece of candy corn would still taste the same as a piece right out of the bag. Bonus, it’s fat free. I won’t go into that parts of the ingredients are binders, after eating a lot of it that speaks for it self.

Moving

My wife and I have been talking about moving. We wouldn’t mind a larger house and maybe a nicer neighborhood. The question is where to move to? Most of our social life revolves around our friends and activities at church. But, we don’t want to move too far away from my work. After all I’m already a grump when I get home from a long day, we might need marriage counseling if you add in a long drive in traffic.

So the hunt begins for the perfect location. My wife would love to move to another part of Georgia or even another state. This surprises me because it is not uncommon in the south for multiple generations to live in the same area for decades. Seems some great great grandparent own some land and just kept dividing it up whenever the family grew larger. I feel sorry for whoever marries into those families, can you imagine living right next door to your in-laws? There goes any hope for privacy. So my wife thinks it would be exciting to start someplace fresh after living in the same area her whole life. I, however, have already experienced what it is like moving to another state. Yes, it is fun seeing new places and doing new stuff, but after awhile it all becomes routine. Plus you have to learn a new way of getting around. I don’t know how I ever survived without my GPS. Then you have to meet a new set of people and friends, and in today’s world coming across a friendly person is hard, unless you have something they want and they can borrow it from you a lot. But I was single when I moved to a different state, so it might be a little easier moving with a spouse. One less person to meet.

This makes me think of my parents. Born and bred in the Buckeye state. They did spend a stretch in Florida while dad was in the military. But, they pretty much haven’t lived any place else but the home of Zippy the Kangaroo, Akron, Ohio. I do not know how a kangaroo got to Akron maybe that will be for another blog. Anyways, my parents not only have lived in Akron for most of their adult life, but also their childhood as well. Plus they have lived on the same street to. They were not neighbors or anything; it was just one of those long major roads that runs through a city. They each grew up at different ends of this long street, got married and lived on another area of the street, the church they got married in was on this street. They had an opportunity to move someplace else when they retired, but what did they do? They built another house on the same street. Dad’s work was not far off this street and they do all their shopping on this street. You know that used car salesmen line, when he tells people that a car was only driven by an old lady just to go back and forth to the store. That’s my mom. She once had a car for about 10 years and only put like 60,000 mile on it. I just bought a jeep 3 years ago and already have about 75,000 on it. So not only have they not moved off the street, they apparently don’t travel very far up and down the street. So someday when they pass on, I might just have their grave site in another state, just so I can say they went somewhere.

Fame does not equal Happiness

John 12:43 “ for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of
God.”

So I have a routine every morning when I get to work. I arrive to my office very early so I can read my e-mails and the news before my work day begins. Normally its whatever is listed on the Yahoo homepage and their sports page. They will cover things in the political world like the Supreme Court starting their new term to something off the wall like the Best-tasting Tortilla chips. The other week someone wrote an article about the Flintstones being around for 50 years; I was all over that one of course. Here it is if you want to read it yourself http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/the-flintstones-fabulous-at-50--1601

But Yahoo also is big on the entertainment news. They will write stories on the biggest movie playing or the popular TV shows coming on this fall. Important stuff, because I need to plan ahead on what I’m going to waste my time watching at night, I wouldn’t want to be forced into reading a book or spending quality time with my wife. Yahoo also covers the so called big names in Hollywood and other celebrities. Because apparently my life is so dull I need to read about how so called famous people live their life better than me, I haven’t quite understood the fascination some people have with people who might be living a better life than them.

People think that fame and fortune equals happiness. You know people like Tiger Woods and Lindsay Lohan must be extremely happy. Here’s the problem, Tiger Woods, I understand and see how he is a celebrity. One of the best golfers ever at a very young age, and at one point seemed like a decent guy. Then wham, his world came crumbling down around him. Everyday it was coming out of another woman that he cheated on his wife with. His name no longer brought up thoughts of great golfer, but big adulterer. I got so tired of seeing his face every morning when I opened up my Yahoo page. Now I am sick of seeing Lindsay Lohan every morning. Who is this woman and what has she done? So she was in some movies, they were not even good movies. So why does the media think that people care that this person in going to jail AGAIN, for breaking parole and doing drugs? Last I checked that is what happens when you break the law. Here’s the thing, my life does not change or is affected by these “Celebrities” sleeping around and doing drugs. I DON’T CARE, and I don’t understand why some people do. All it really shows is that being famous does not equal happiness, and you can be famous for doing stupid things and everyone in the world gets to read about it. While I’m on the subject, my life has not changed one bit because somebody “Decided” to move to another state to play a game, Lebron James go away.

The point of this is that being famous or having a lot of money will not make life better. The media does not realize that is what they are reporting. People need to see that success in life is not reaching a celebrity status or imitating what they do. But success is doing what makes you happy and those around you happy. Also success is doing what is right even when no one is looking. So the next time life smacks you in the face and you think life would be better if you were a famous person. At least pick someone famous that has done some good for the world. Maybe we all just need to shout “YABBA DADDA DOO!!!”

Matthew 16: 24 -26 Then Jesus said to His disciples “If anyone desires to
come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For
whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My
sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world,
and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?”

Calling Home

Being around 700 miles away from home has it pluses and minuses. When I was single it was a little tuff being on my own. If there was a problem I had to take care of it myself and if I did happen to call my parents when something went wrong I would get a reply like “What can we do about it, we are in a different state.” Also, I didn’t get the benefits that a lot of people get when they first move out of their house. Things like dropping by the parent’s house to visit and you just happen to have a bag of laundry to do, or going over to say hi to mom and checking out what leftovers she has in the refrigerator. Dad is not able to help get the car started and too far away to fix the toilet that over flows. But the plus is that they are around 700 miles away, which means no surprise drop bys.

I love my parents; they brought me into this world after all. But being the youngest of three, sharing a room with my oldest brother, in a house with one bathroom, I was ready for a little privacy when I moved out. Not that I lived an exciting life as a bachelor. If they were to give a surprise visit back then they would find me just sitting on my couch, balancing a frozen pizza on a paper towel on my leg, trying to keep the cat from sticking his head in my glass of Kool-Aid, while watching the Disney Channel. That’s right I knew how to live the single life. But what they would also find would be the pile of laundry on my bedroom floor, stack of dirty dishes, and an indescribable smell coming from the bathroom. So it was nice having a phone call a month or more in advance, warning they were going to come for a visit and having a 700 mile cushion to clean the house. Even though when they got here the first time they were surprised to find out I didn’t own any wash clothes or dish towels. Why would a single guy need those?

So since I moved out I’ve tried to call home at least once a week, and I hear about it if I forget. I get this message left from my mom, sounding like a kid that just lost her puppy, saying “I haven’t heard from you in a long time, I hope you are alive, I’m worried some Mexicans might have kidnapped you.” So over whelming guilt comes over me and I call home. A typical phone call involves; my dad trying to put a dead frozen cat in a trash bag, mom counting how many tomatoes she is growing, and my uncle’s dog ate his fake tooth, and their recent purchase of a phone that plays the “The Star Spangled Banner” when it rings. This is what I miss out on being 700 miles away from home. But I’ll admit I still miss them.

Early Christmas Shopping

Another Monday is here. Another work week has started. Yet another day that I sit in my four cubicle walls looking like one of those caged puppies in the pet store, hoping someone will pick me and get me out of here. I am not complaining about my job, I’m thankful for it. It allows me to eat every night and pays for the place where I sleep. But after nearly 8 years at the same place doing the same thing, it becomes a little monotonous. Every once in a while something different happens that makes the work day a little different, not better, but different. Like today, when I got to the office this morning I was greeted with the horrible aroma of what smells like sewage. This bring a new meaning to the old saying, “Different day, same old @*!?$”

So my wonderful wife points out to the social networking world that Christmas is only 3 months away. Since getting married I have found Christmas shopping for my friends and family to be a lot easier. When I was single I would wait till the last minute and just buy whatever was left on the shelf that didn’t look like I waited till the last minute to pick it out or, the gift card. The gift card is such a wonderful invention. It took me all of 15 minutes to do my Christmas shopping. But the last two Christmas my wife has handle the shopping for my family and friends. I don’t even know what some of them get until they open the present. It is awesome, I don’t have to be among all the loving Christmas shoppers with their spirit of generous giving. I say that sarcastically, we all know that Christmas has turned into a time of seeing who can buy the better gift that they can’t afford, hoping they get the same in return. But I’ll save Christmas shopping for another blog.

I now have three months to decide what I need to get for my wife. I did not know there were rules to this. I just found out that unless requested you don’t get anything that plugs in, and nothing that she might need or use everyday for household chores. So this makes my shopping a little harder. I’ve always wanted at least one thing that either requires batteries or it has some assembly required on Christmas day, guess that is just the kid in me. So now begins the stress of getting that gift to show my love for my wife and how much I appreciate her. No pressure here. The gift needs to say I notice how hard you work to keep our house clean, cook our meals, and keep up with the laundry. It also needs to say I love you and glad you are in my life. Personally I think a cordless circular saw with a laser guide says it all. Hey, you don’t plug it in and she won’t use it everyday for household chores.

Stupid people.

I think a law should be passed that will allow someone at least once a week to slap another person for being rude or doing something stupid. I think it would eventually eliminate some of the problems in our world. At some point everyone would end up getting a good whack in the back of the head (including myself) and maybe start to think twice before they did something stupid. We could soften the blow and pass out Nerf baseball bats.

I would begin in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Really almost any parking lot will do, but Wal-Mart’s lots seem to really bring in a certain breed of people. I was getting out of my car after risking my life to find a space, (the arrows on the ground are there for a reason people) while walking to the store I saw a car about to back up. So I started to wait for the person to back up, because apparently a memo went out that pedestrians don’t have the right away anymore, but the person never backed up. So I thought it was safe and started to proceed behind the car, and then the person decided to back up right when I took my first step behind them. I stopped, took a step back and waved at the person to go ahead and back out. They never moved or saw me, and they didn’t continue to back up. So I gave them the benefit of the doubt and went forward again. I was half way behind the car when they decided to start to back up. Their bumper was basically on top of me and I had to run across. They never stopped, just kept on going like I was invisible. That person needed a whack with a bat.

I don’t spend a lot of time in Wal-Mart. I try to get in and get out. I just needed one thing. Wouldn’t you know it, there were 10 people with carts in the aisle I needed to go down. Of course all of them were smack in the middle and just staring at the stuff, not putting it their carts or even looking around. Just staring like they were waiting for that smiley face thing to come flying by to drop the price down, I was polite and said excuse me. But, no response, I tried to nudge my way through, nothing. I eventually had to reach over someone to get what I needed and I get the look of death from some women who obviously needed to be in the toothpaste and mouthwash aisle. Then I get bumped from behind by someone that needed to go try the stuff in the health and diet aisle. All that was going through my mind was my Nerf bat and WACK, WACK, WACK. Some people make it really hard to love thy neighbor.

clothing

A strange occurrence happens to guys when they get married. Their old wardrobe and choice of clothes suddenly becomes very outdated and does not look good enough to wear anymore. When I was single I had my favorite shirts; I mean trusty, old shirts that I had in high school. I figured that even though it may not fit that well, if I just pushed up the sleeves or tucked it in just right no one would ever notice. I didn’t care that the grey shirt I had was once green a few years ago, it still look good with my jeans. I also didn’t care that someone could tell by the faded spot on the back pocket of my pants was where I put my wallet. Or, that maybe the bottom of most of my pants looked like they had just gone through a shredder because they looked a little worn and torn. All I cared about was that they looked liked they fit, and they were comfortable. I’ll admit, when I was single I sometimes didn’t care about the last time they were cleaned, they seemed to smell ok.

Then I started dating my wife. I paid a little closer attention to what I wore. I didn’t want her to think I was a total slob. I would put my clothes in the dryer with some fabric softener right before I put them on to make sure they smelled decent. Or I would attempt to get most of the wrinkles out by putting some heavy book on them or hanging them in the bathroom while I took a shower so the steam would get to them. I heard no complaints from her about my attire while we were dating. But I didn’t catch on to her master plan. On birthdays and holidays she would give me clothes as gifts. At the time I didn’t think anything of it, I mean they seem like appropriate gifts for people who are dating. I also knew I probably needed some additional clothing and choices besides the weekly same 5 shirt rotation.

But then we got married and I started to notice that some of my long time friends were disappearing. For every new shirt or pants I got, two of my old friends went missing. I didn’t even have the chance to say good bye. I thought she liked my style of clothing, but apparently I was wrong. All those gifts of clothing I was getting while we were dating were all part of her master plan to take over my closet. Now I really don’t mind getting new clothes, in fact since getting married I’ve notice I’ve gotten a lot my complements on my wardrobe. But, the problem sometimes occurs when I am picking out something to wear when we go out. I’ll put something on thinking its fine; she bought most of it for me anyways, only to get the comment “Are you going to wear that.” Apparently not, so I go and change into something else. Again, the same comment or “You know you have other shirts besides that one.” I don’t know how divas like Mariah Carey do it, I don’t like going through a bunch of wardrobe changes. So finally after many frustrating moments, my wife and I have come to the agreement, that if she doesn’t like what I have on in the first place, to just pick put what she wants me to change into. But sometimes I miss some of those old clothes; we had a good run together. Even though I probably looked like I never got out of the 80’s or 90’s.

TV viewing

With fall quickly approaching the new TV season begins. Guys are given a very unique talent; they can watch at least 5 TV shows at the same time. It takes timing to know when to switch between shows during commercials, balance to hold the remote at just the right angle so your arm does not get tired, and endurance to sit for hours and not have to use the bathroom. Most women don’t have this skill. They scan through each channel, pausing at each one to see what the show is about and determine if it is wroth watching. Then they leave it on that channel, because some commercial comes on that they end up crying over.

When I was single there was no problem figuring out what I was going to watch. I was master of the remote and could watch it all. The problem comes when you get married and you have to determine what satisfies both parties. We fortunately like most of the same things; some comedies and dramas. She’s a football fan so that does make Sundays easy to decide. But she likes History and older movies. Back in the day if I came a crossed a show that mentioned a date or a past president, it didn’t take me long to switch the channel. Now we have to pause to see what subject they are talking about, something that I probably had trouble staying awake for in high school. Meanwhile I could be missing Jack Bauer beat somebody into confessing a secret or seeing some old has been actress trying to revive their career by dancing in a dress that they have no business wearing. Come on, that is important stuff!

So we try to compromise and find something we both enjoy. We do have a TV in almost every room of the house. But, what is the point of being married if you are just going to spend all evening watching TV in separate rooms. We do like most of the same TV shows. The advantage I have is that my wife is not a late night person and typically will fall asleep during any movie. So the other night “Gone with the Wind” was on. It’s one of her favorite movies, but not one of mine. I knew she was not going to be awake very long. So I was the good husband and let her keep it on that channel, knowing about 15 minutes later she would be sound asleep. Then the remote and TV would be all mine. Hello old friends, I got over 100 channels let the surfing begin.

Projects.

This weekend was a busy weekend and I accomplished something big. I did two projects this weekend and didn’t lose my religion once. I have sawdust running through my blood. My father knows his way around power tools and his dad made a living using them. So when I hear the roar of a drill or a saw fire up I get a little excited. I even enjoy watching all the home improvement shows, even though my dad thinks they should all be called, Watching Paint Dry.

I didn’t really get to use any major power tools this weekend, other than my drill. The first project I did was at my church. For some reason the pastor wanted a bobcat on stage. So I and a few other guys had to take some doors off of the church and drive the bobcat in. So I had the job of moving some plywood around and making sure the guy driving the bobcat had enough clearance to get around objects and through doors. Even though I don’t drink, it felt like a beer commercial; bunch of guys, power tools, and a big tractor. Maybe it was because we were at church, but I was surprised that no one lost their temper or even slip in a cussed word. It was a job well done.

Then that afternoon when I got home the wife and I were going to put the cover on the pool. So I was a little tired, it was hot, and putting the cover on the pool is not the easiest thing to do. I just knew we were going to need marriage counseling after this. I must admit when I do a project and things do not go my way I get a little frustrated and use a few colorful words. So my wife knows it’s best to just leave the area code and come back when I am done. But I needed her help with this one. I was impressed we worked like a great team, got the job done with ease, and still wanted to be married to each other at the end. My wife had to make the wise crack and say it was because she was in charge. I kept my mouth shut and remembered what a good friend of mine said to me about marriage; you can choose to be right or you can be happy. After her comment I chose to be happy.

typical work day.

I was off Monday, but this has been a long work week. Friday needs to get here soon. Hope the weekend goes by slow. Ever notice that even though there is 24 hours in every day, it sometimes feels like some days go by quicker than others. Or, it just stands still. In my office we have what we like to call the 3 o’clock zone. It is that time of day that just seems to take forever to get through. It is the same 60 minutes as any other hour, but it just drags and drags.

Between 8:00 am to lunch, time goes by pretty quickly. Your busy getting your day started and drinking your coffee. Then lunch will fly by as you rush out to beat the traffic to get to your local grease pit, only to sit in a drive thru waiting on the moron in front of you to decide what they want. News flash; the menu has not changed since yesterday, there are only so many ways they can make a hamburger, adding a large diet coke does not make it healthy, and it’s not that hard to say a number two with cheese. So you get back to work with about 15 minutes left to eat. The next hour is uncomfortable, wishing you had the salad instead of super sizing the meal to get a few extra fries. I think they add cocaine to french fries to get you addicted to them. Two o’clock roles around, you start to realize the co-worker next to you had the bean burrito again. But, you are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel to go home.

Then 3:00 pm hits…. Time seems to stop. The boss just laid down a bunch of work that he forgot to give you that morning and of course it needs to be done by the end of the day. So you are working hard, feeling as if you have been busy and you think it is probably after 4 o’clock. But no, only 15 minutes have gone by. So you try to get some more work done. You finished most of the project you were just given. Feeling a sense of accomplishment of putting in a full days work, you glance at the clock and it is only 3:30 pm. The day seems to never end. Finally, 4:00 pm roles around; you think you deserve a break, you worked hard. So you take a quick peek at your personal e-mails, see what important stuff you missed on Facebook, someone sent you a video you just had to watch. Feeling a little guilty you decide to get back to work. Looking at the clock it is 5:05 pm. Better hurry and leave to sit in traffic for an hour, which will feel like three.

End of Summer

Just finished a nice vacation, it was relaxing and fun. Which is why I missed Monday’s usual posting. We spent Monday at the pool for one final fun in the sun. It kind of marks the last day of summer and we will be closing the pool this coming weekend. Now begins fall, which means Christmas is just around the corner. I know this because walking through the stores; they have on display the Halloween pumpkins, skeletons, and candy right next to Santa and his eight reindeers. It looks like some sort of weird Wrestle Mania event. Who would win the smack down between Frosty the Snowman and Frankenstein? It’s not even Halloween yet and you can’t walk into a store without feeling like someone is going to shove a candy cane down your throat.

When I was a kid, this was the time of year when I was deciding which teacher I liked, who I was gong to sit next to in the lunch room, and finding out which bathroom stalls at school had working locks on them. Even though I don’t think I sat on a school toilet once from kindergarten to 12th grade, afraid of who had just sat there before me or who might kick the door in while I was using it. I feared the swirly. The fall was also the time to think about who I wanted to dress up as for Halloween. Not that it matter what your costume looked liked. When you grow up in northern Ohio, chances were that it was going to be cold outside and your Superman or Zorro costume was going to be covered up by winter snow gear anyways, only exposing the silly shoes or makeup you were wearing.

But now as an adult, the fall brings thoughts of getting the house and car ready for the winter and wondering if you can get out of dragging all the winter stuff out of the attic. At least football season is about to start. Also my personal favorite, sweat pants weather, there is nothing better than sitting around in some comfortable sweat pants. I mostly enjoy wearing them because of the elastic waist band that stretches as I put on weight preparing for my winter hibernation on the couch. Of course, you have to start making your Christmas list. Not for you to send to Santa, but the list of gifts that you need to buy for your family and friends. Even though if you’re a guy you’re going to wait till the last minute anyways and buy the cheapest thing that is left on the shelf.

Goodbye Summer, it was a fun one.

Reruns

Today begins my vacation. So far I got to sleep in, not rush in the shower, and enjoy my breakfast. Normally I get up at the last possible minute (after I hit the snooze button twenty times), hurry up to get ready for work and walk right out the door. My wife will make me a breakfast that I eat when I get to the office. So this morning has been nice and relaxing. My cat seems to be happy that I am home, he is sleeping next to me as I flip through the channels to begin my state of vegetation today.

As I do my channel surfing, I discovered that I am not missing anything on day time TV. You have a choice of Morning talk shows with corny jokes, workout programs (not going to happen), and infomercials. Who really needs a towel that will suck all the water out of a swimming pool or a food cooker that looks like R2-D2 is sitting on your kitchen counter. Well that last one does sound pretty cool. But my point is there is nothing on TV in the mornings. Then I came across TV Land, it was like finding the holy grail of old TV shows. The A-team, Golden Girls, and (Oh YES) Save by the Bell.

We were not completely innocent, but we at least had some decency, We had violence and high school romances. But on today's TV for teen, they seem to have trouble keeping their clothes on. Even though the A-team shot thousands of rounds of bullets, there was no blood and no one died. Now there is a cult following of teenage undead and streams of blood. Being attracted to the same sex was either not heard of or made fun of on TV. Now it seems 80% of the population is gay. I wonder whatever happened to Kelly and Zach?

So I could be wrong, but it seems that in the days of good clean TV, things were better. A dollar could get you more than a item on a $0.99 menu. When you graduated from college there were jobs available that didn't require you to say "Would you like fries with that?" Families were able to afford a home and keep it. Maybe it's not just our TV viewing that has changed things. Now there is no prayer in schools, debates if the 10 commandments should be posted in goverment offices, and people going to courts to take God out of our pledge to the flag and off our money. Instead of trying to recreate the TV and movies of the past for this generation to enjoy, we may just need to give them back our Creator.

Deuteronomy 7:9-11 "Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keeps his commandments, to a thousand generations, and repays to their face those who hate him, by destroying them. He will not be slack with one who hates him. He will repay him to his face. You shall therefore be carful to do the commandment and the statues and the rules that I command you today."

personal hygiene.

The main reason of doing these blogs is to promote the comic strip and the other is to track the events of my every day life for future story lines and ideas. But sometimes life is a little boring. The most exciting thing that happened this weekend was that my wife went out to buy me some nose hair clippers. I must agree I did need them. As I get older, I seem to be losing more hair from my head and have it grow from other places I didn’t know hair was supposed to grow. Thank you to the little kids who like to point this out very boldly and proudly in front of other people. It was pretty bad, the rain forest may be disappearing, but it’s reappearing in my nose. I was a little self conscious about it. It felt like people would not look me in the eyes to talk, but stare at my nose as if the hair sticking out of it was waving hello at them.

Like I said, nothing exciting to really report this time, though it was nice to have my wife run out a buy me some nose hair clippers. They are little scissors, I’m afraid to use the electronic ones. I think those might hurt or go crazy and get tangled in my nose and I end up with the strange device stuck up there. I would have been too embarrassed to buy them myself and have the checkout person stare at me the whole time. My wife was worried that people may think the clippers were for her, but I ensured her that would not be the case. I guess that is one of those things growing older together is all about. Doing something for the other person no matter how embarrassing it may be. My wife asked me if I would do something embarrassing for her if I had to, like buy one of her feminine hygiene products. I luv ya babe, but some things just are not going to happen, and should never be asked of a guy to do.

Driving

If I made enough money I would hire a personal chofer driver, to take me everywhere. I don’t mind driving; I just don’t like the other people driving around me. Car manufactures are making it worse by adding more conveniences to cars. STOP MAKING GADJETS THAT DISTRACT PEOPLE! I appreciate the automatic windows, because it was annoying to crank a window up while it was raining, or when you went to a drive thru in 20 below weather and you couldn’t get the window up fast enough because it was so cold. The automatic locks are kind of cool, but is it really that hard to push or pull a little knob to lock or unlock the door. It is fun being a few yards away and being able to unlock a car; guys love anything that is remote control.

I can remember a time when I was excited because my radio had a digital display with programmable buttons. I could only dream of owning a tape player to go into the car. Now you can get anything to go into a car. Any type of music device, they even include a slot so you can plug in your computer or MP3 player and listen to all the music you own. You can have TVs and DVD players, so parents don’t have to talk to their kids ever. They just pick the kid up from in front of their TV (that is probably in the kid’s bedroom) and place them in front of the TV in the car. Because that would be horrible to spend that 15 to 20 minute drive to school or back home talking to their children asking them about their day or making sure they are learning anything. That was sarcasm if you didn’t notice.

No need to worry about getting lost anymore, now we have GPS. I’ll admit I love my GPS. It’s the one device that makes my life a little easier when I don’t know how to get to my destination. Map Quest was ok, but it was a little annoying trying to memorize the directions, or look at it quickly enough while driving. I normally tried to balance the papers on my steering wheel. Plus, Map Quest just got you in the vicinity; it rarely got you to the exact destination. I don’t know what we did before that, other than hope someone gave you good directions or hope the old dog that you were told look for didn’t move from the corner you were suppose to turn at. Does anyone even own an actual map anymore?

All these new devices, plus cell phones, in cars do the same thing; they make people take their eyes off the road. You add that to the women who don’t take the extra fifteen minutes (probably more) at home to put on their makeup and you end up with the 1 hour long traffic backup on your way to work. A few things will never change with cars. First, you will eventually get behind a 100 year old person who can’t see over the steering wheel and is going 20 MPH below the actual speed limit, making you risk your life to pass them. Second, maybe because car manufacturers were so busy adding all these extra toys in cars they forgot to add the basic necessity. Because, no matter how new the car is or how many fancy gadgets are in it, people still will not use their turn signal.

Sleepless night

Ever have one of those sleepless nights. You know the ones that you keep staring at the clock to see what time it is, then tell yourself if I fall asleep now I’ll at least get this many hours a sleep. Then more time goes by you check the clock again and you subtract another hour of sleep you don’t get. You do this horrible routine until your alarm goes off and you end up hitting the snooze button like twenty times. I had such an experience the other night. Now I’ll admit a lot of it was due to the fact that I had chocolate cake and root beer while watching TV that night, so I have no one to blame but myself. I kind of fell off the diet wagon this weekend.

When you can’t sleep at night a few things happen. One, you hear all the strange noises that happen at night. Maybe the sounds of the bugs and animals outside your window, the little creaks the house makes, and the sound of the toilet running because you forgot to wiggle the handle before going to bed. Another thing that may happen when you can’t sleep is your mind starts to wander. You think about your day at work, maybe the bills that need to be paid, or the fact that you are wide awake and your spouse next to you is sound asleep without a care in the world. That’s not fair, if you’re awake why should anyone get any sleep. So maybe you begin to sigh really loud or toss and turn really hard. Or my personal favorite, you just nudge the person really hard and say “Hey, I can’t sleep.”

Which brings me to my point, one of my hardest adjustments to being married was sharing a bed with somebody. Sure there is the obvious benefit of the marital bed. But it is still a hard adjustment. Growing up, I only had a twin bed until I was like 18 or 20. So it got to a point where I was a little big for the bed and if I rolled over too much I would fall out. So I had to create what I call the “Hop Turn.” It’s where you take your body while laying flat, do a small hop, and then turn over to the other side. It has become a habit for me in my sleep; a talent my wife has not come to appreciate. For the first two to three months I was too worried to wake my wife up, so I would lie as still as I could. Also, I wanted to make sure she had plenty of room, so I would curl up in a small ball at the very edge on my side of the bed. Now it’s a race to see who can get to the bed first and claim as much mattress real estate as possible. As far as lying still at night, it is every man and women for themselves. My poor wife has gotten slapped and kicked a few times because of my long arms and legs flopping around when I am sleeping, a few times I am not really sleeping though. So after nearly two years of marriage, I am getting used to sharing the bed. In fact I would miss her and couldn’t sleep if she wasn’t lying next to me. Now I just need to ignore that smacking sound the cat makes at night when he is cleaning himself and remember to shake the handle on the toilet before I go to bed. They don’t show that in the romance movies.

You can't keep a good man down

In my 37 years (man that’s looks like a big number) on the earth, I’ve learned a few things. One is you can’t make everyone happy, followed by some people will always say its black even though it is white, and there are just some bad people in this world. The wife and I were victims of a small neighborhood crime. No one was hurt and nothing was stolen, but some damage was done. We are good Christian folk. Society may see that as weak. You know, being forgiving and loving thy neighbor. But, does that mean we should get walked over and push around. Yes, the good book teaches us to love all, but it also teaches us to stand up for ourselves and God. David and Goliath is a common story most everyone knows. Was David supposed to stand aside and let Goliath take over his city and most of all put down God. Was he supposed to fight Goliath with loving words and hugs, I don’t think so. Some may not realize that even Jesus teaches us a similar lesson. In Mathew 21, Jesus arrives into Jerusalem to find a WalMart in the temple. He overturns tables and chairs and drives all of the merchants out. So even though the Bible tells us to love those that are evil and hate us, it does not say not to stand up for yourself.

There is nothing we can do about it. You can’t live in a box hoping you will never get hurt and avoid all conflicts. Someone will eventually try and knock you down, and someone will eventually do it. But here’s another very important lesson that Jesus teaches. You may get knocked down, but you can always get back up. “You can’t keep a good man down.”

Mathew 28:6-7 “He is not here; for He is risen, as He said. Come, see the place
where the Lord lay. And go quickly and tell His Disciples that He is risen from
the dead, and indeed He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see
Him. Behold, I have told you.”

Stop goofing off and get back to work.

Computers have simplified, or were supposed to simplify the work office. I’ve been in the career of drafting for over 18 years. There was a time that I had to use a pencil, T-square and triangles to draw with. Now it’s all done on computers. Yes, it has made my life easier, but I’ll admit that I don’t know how much more productive I am. Because I can’t remember how I goofed off at work before computers. First of all, you know you try and position your monitor on your desk so no one can see what is on it but you, or that you have plenty of time to shrink the window before anyone can see it. Solitaire and Mine Sweep became a nice distraction when needing a few minutes for a break from my work. But, now with the social networks of Facebook and Twitter, you kind of wonder if any work is getting done at all anywhere. I mean if I could invest in cyber farms or just earn my money from the internet mafias I’d be a rich man. I know, not only did you move the monitor so no one can see it, but you think as long as you have your hand on the mouse and type something every once in a while it looks like you are working. There was a time that everyone gathered at the coffee pot or water cooler and talked about the latest TV show or office gossip. Now they just tweet each other all day or send text messages. So then why should I even need to go to an office at all? I can just post my work status on Facebook, update my boss on twitter, and communicate with my coworkers via e-mail or text. All along making sure my pig and crops are being taken care of, while not worrying if I'll be caught by my boss. Plus I can work in my sweat pants, favorite T-shirt and never have to shave. But, I would miss the monthly office birthday cake.

Change in Plans

Last night the wife and I decided to move the living room furniture around. Why? One, we thought it would give us more room. Two, what else is there to do on a Wednesday evening. At one point I didn’t know where the leg of the couch was and put it down on my bare feet, Ouch! It was a nice change, and it did make the room feel bigger. The interesting part was watching the cat. He didn’t know what to think about this change in his space. He went around sniffing everything and rubbing against it, you know doing the things cats do. After a while he got used to it, fell down and started to clean himself. I guess we had his approval.

Things happen in life that we never expect to happen. We go along thinking we have everything figured out, then WHAM! Something or someone decides to mess up your plans. This is not always a bad thing, depending on how you live your life. I never understood how some people have to live their life according to what others have or are doing. I guess it is that need to fit in, or seem cool. But styles and trends change all the time. Kids are about to learn this when the 1,000 Silly Bands they have cutting the circulation off on their arm will soon be out of style. Some changes are a little harder to except. Life can really mess up our plans. Things like divorce, alcohol, drugs and other addictions. Oh sure, Hollywood has really made some of these things look like normal society behavior, but how many people have said when I grow up I want to get a divorce or be addicted to drugs. But they happen all the time, to some of the best and nicest people around. Maybe not because they have done something wrong or even made bad choices. Life just decided to mess up their plans.

So maybe we should treat our lives like a living room. I got and placed my furniture in my house before I got married. I thought I put everything in the right place. Then we moved things around just to see what it looked liked. My wife discovered she had a launching pad from the hallway to the living room and decided to take a run and see how far she could slide down the hall. We also discovered we had more room to jump around and play our video games. Basically it wasn’t the furniture that made the living room better. It was who was in it. I don’t just mean my wife, but I saw how God can change our plans for the better if we fill that empty space with him. We will make a bad decision every now and then and life may get in the way. But, God always has a plan that is better for us.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord,
thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Back to school

The kids have gone back to school. I know this because traffic in the morning is a lot worse. Between the new teenage drivers thinking they are too cool to be on the same road as you and the moms who are driving like they are in a combat zone trying to dump there kids off at school on time and make it to work, it’s dangerous out there. My favorite part of going back to school was the shopping for the supplies. To this day I still like walking around an office supply store to check out the pens, pencils, folders, and paper. To me it was kind of like walking down the toy aisle. My least favorite part was the back to school clothes shopping. Not that it happened that often for me. I was the youngest of three, so that meant I got the hand me downs. I realize my parents were trying to save money, but my brother was four years older than me so by the time I was wearing his clothes they were out of style. Plus I’m still talking to my therapist because I had an older sister too. Just kidding my parents never went that far with the hand me downs (that I knew of.)

Going to school in the north is a little bit different than down here in the south. It is always funny to me when there is a threat of snow in the south and they start to shut down schools the night before and run out and buy up all the milk and bread. (I still don’t understand that last part.) But up north, I remember it snowing the night before; you get up in the morning, turn on the radio, and hoped they called out your schools name. The roads had to be covered in snow; I just don’t mean the light frosting they get in the south. I’m talking about get out the snow shovel to clear off the drive way and put the chains on the tires snow fall. If there was a chance the bus could get through, you were going to school.

I’ve been thinking about the kids today and what they are learning in school. I wont start on the whole politics and prayer debate, other than kids don’t stand a chance if we don’t pray for them. But with the age of text messaging how are these kids going to write their book reports and other papers? I don’t text often, mostly because I don’t understand them. For instance “Tomorrow” in the texting world is spelled “2mor” and you can combine three words like “let me know” into “lemeno.” I can just imagine some kid writing their paper freaking out because Microsoft Word is going nuts finding all these misspelled words it does not identify.

So here’s my back to school tip for parents. Buy your kids a Webster Dictionary and a belt for your boys. I’m really tired of their pants hanging half way down and seeing their underwear.

Reality TV

I have a little guilty pleasure I like to watch sometimes, Big Brother. About a bunch of people confined to a house, they play games, vote people out until there is one person left. That person wins the money. Reality shows have become more and more popular; they also have become more and more strange. You have different kinds of reality shows. In one group you have ones that are set up like a competition like Big Brother, The Bachelor, Amazing Race and of course American Idol. Then there are the shows that just follow people around. Some of these are old celebrities trying to revive their careers, and then some are people that think they should be famous like Jersey Shores and Real Housewives. Basically someone wanted to create some shows based off their favorite set of novels, the National Enquire. Recently one of the contestants on Big Brother used a term I never heard before, “showmance”. A romance that is on a TV show, there is nothing romantic about a “showmance”. Some of these people are going on these reality TV shows to meet people. It appears to me they just don’t want to meet someone, they want to be on some soft porn show. HEY REALITY PEOPLE, I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU MAKE OUT. Do you realize there may be a generation of people out there telling a story to their children on how they met their father and it involves going on a TV show. Now the parents will not be telling this story together, because you know these relationships don’t last after the camera is turned off, heck some don’t even last between commercials. I think we get involved in these shows because it satisfies our need to hear gossip and being peeping toms. I got sucked into one the other night, two girls arguing because one of them heard another girl kissing a guy in a different room. I didn’t understand why they were arguing, but I was enjoying watching the cat fight evolve in front of me.

This summer has been extremely hot. My wife decided she was going to spend the evening in the pool. I had just settle down and watching TV. When it dawned on me that I was sitting in the house alone and my wife was out side alone. So I turned off the TV and went outside to join my wife. We lost track of time talking and laughing. We went back inside and went through some bills, discussed how we were going to find time to do some of the projects that needed to get done around the house. In the background you could hear the cat hacking up a hair ball. Now that’s reality. Turn off the TV and get real.

move to the south.

When I was moving from the north to below the Mason-Dixon Line, I began to notice something as I was driving further south. The splats on my windshield were getting bigger and bigger. The bugs are huge down here compared to what we have in the north. A few times I thought I could see the look of terror on their face as they collided with my car. You could actually hear the bang as they made impact. There were a lot of differences I noticed right a way when I first arrived in the peach state. For one the weather; it was middle to late October when I got here and I loved it. But, the locals did look at me strange because I was walking around in shorts. I quickly discovered the language barrier when I went to the grocery store. This woman kept on offering me a 'buggy'. I didn't know what she was trying to sell me so I grabbed my 'shopping Cart' and walked away. The south drinks coke, the north asks for a pop. I quickly became a sweet tea fan. Why those Yankees haven't figured out to add the sugar while the tea is brewing, makes me wonder how they won they war in the first place.

On another note, last night I couldn't sleep. This happens often, and I have found if I read a little bit I'll be sleepy in about hour. So I ended up reading a book I got for Christmas. It's most of the Sunday comics of "B.C." by Johnny Hart. I do read more than just comics, but I enjoy learning how these guys got their start. Most of the time in the Sunday comics Johnny would create a Christian theme for B.C. I always thought this was awesome as well as a bold move to do. But what I found interesting was how he got to know the Lord. Johnny had it all at one point in his life. A successful comic and a family, but he still felt empty. He wanted a satellite installed for his studio. The father and son team who installed it used a Christian station to test the TVs picture. Johnny at first did not like this, but soon became very interested in what the guy on TV had to say. He then began going to church with his wife and found God. He wanted others to know about how God can fill the emptiness for other people and decided to use B.C. to let people know. The part I found interesting in all this were the father and son team. Did they use that channel on purpose? Did they know that Johnny needed God in his life? We never know what the path is that the Lord has us on; we just have to know that he is in control of the direction. Much like when I first came to Georgia as a lost single guy, it was only going to be for a year. 13 years later, still enjoying my sweet tea, married to a wonderful woman, and enjoying serving God wherever his path may lead me.
Proverbs 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

blast from the past

Ever look back and think the things we had in our young adult years were really cool. The wife and I was channel surfing and got real excited when we came across the movie Footloose. For some reason we thought this was one of the best movies in the 80's. About 20 minutes into the movie we were looking at each other and both thinking the same thing. What were we thinking? I'll admit the sound track was great. (Wander whatever happened to Kenny Loggins?), but the movie was horrible. Story line bad, acting bad and the dancing really wasn't that good either. Who runs through an old warehouse, jumping around, and throwing their arms in the air because they can't dance? Does Kevin Bacon look back at himself and see how stupid he looks? Well I'm sure it helps someone in their "Six degrees to Kevin." Probably each generation has something they look back on and says "What were we thinking?" The Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton administrations comes to mind quickly, but I'm talking about fashions. Things like parachute pants, the jacket with all the zippers, and rolling the bottom of your pants up a few times. The 70's had disco, shirts with really big collars and bellbottom pants. But they had an excuse along with the 60's generation; they were doing a little too much experimenting if you know what I mean. Styles have away of coming back though, and I say long live the mullet.

Exercising

Since I started my diet last week I have lost 8 lbs. It hasn't been that bad, just a little bit of an adjustment to my eating habits and doing a little bit of exercising. The hard part has been keeping up with the exercising. You see over the years I've really mastered the skill of being lazy and doing the least amount of physical activity as possible. I even created an additional commandment to go along with "The 10 Commandments". 11. Thou shall not run and sweat on purpose. This has served me well for most of my life, up till now. Apparently the body needs to move around so the heart can pump the blood through the body better. Also it prevents things like; two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, and sesame buns from clogging your arteries. So I broke the 11th commandment and started sweating on purpose. The challenge has been keeping it up. I'm becoming the master of excuses. Things like, "It looks like it's going to rain." That one white fluffy cloud in the otherwise clear blue sky just might cause a little bit of moisture in the air therefore to avoid injury of slipping in a puddle I better stay inside; missing one day won't hurt me. I can't work out inside, we are on a slab foundation and therefore the floor will be hard which may cause harm on my joints jarring against the floor. So basically it's all about motivation and what is more important. Motivation is that if I exercise, my blood pressure will be normal and I won't have to take a pill for the rest of my life and exercising is more important than watching reruns of Friends and Seinfeld which I have seen every episode of at least 10 times and can almost quote word for word. Negative too being bald, sweat rolls right off the head and into your eyes.

It's not my fault

I have found a positive to being bald. Besides the obvious of saving money on shampoo, taking less time to get ready for work in the morning, and never having a bad hair day. I can say something was not my fault and it would be true. This is something a husband can rarely get away with "It's not my fault." There are a lot of dishes in the sink. "It's not my fault."I'll say. But yeah it probably is since I eat more than anyone in the house and I got used to just letting the dishes pile up in my bachelor days. There's a pile of laundry on the floor. "It's not my fault." When I lived by myself I would use the washing machine as my dirty clothes hamper. When the washer got full I knew it was time to do laundry. The dryer was used has my dresser. In the morning when I got up to get dressed; I throw a damp cloth in the dryer, turn the dryer on, the damp cloth would create steam and take out most of the wrinkles in the clothes. So it is really not my fault that my wife has changed my system of living. But recently it was, the shower drain is clogged with hair. "It's not my fault." When you are bald that's all that needs to be said.

Cat's lair

I've got involved in a reality show called "Billy the Exterminator". It's about a family business that kills bugs and gets rid of other pest. Billy is dressed like some biker dude. Wearing mostly leather, spikes on his shirt and gloves, but the really unique thing about Billy is his hair. Typically he wears a cowboy hat and when he takes it off, it looks like a porcupine is sitting on his head. Plus it is very long. Now I have been fighting the hairline battle for a long time. I knew this would be a losing battle from looking at my uncles. So when I see someone like Billy with a lot of hair and they decide to wear it in some crazy way, or some guys who think it is cool that even though they have hair they shave it all off anyways. It annoys me a little. All that I am saying is RESPECT THE HAIR. Though I'll admit I save a lot of money from not buying Shampoo.

On another note. Since I've gotten married and my wife moved into my house. There seems to be a territory battle between my wife and cat. When I get home from work, my wife will have a story that will start off like "Let me tell you what your cat did today..." Well the other night as we were laying in bed watching TV, my wife looked across the room and into our bathroom and saw something staring back at her. It was the cat sitting proudly on the toilet, looking back at her as if to say, "My house. My throne."

Happy Fourth and TV viewing

Just had a great 4th of July weekend. I was planning on sleeping in every day, but I still woke up at my normal time as if it was a workday. I hate that. It reminded me of the times when I had a snow day off from school and I still got up early like any other typical school day. The wife and I didn't plan anything for the weekend. I used the spare time to work on an outdoor patio that we have wanted to get done. It was getting hot and the sun was really bright. I knew this because my wife told me to put on a hat because the sun was reflecting off my head and blinding the neighbors. As if every bald man had never heard that one before. But I decided it was a good time to take a break. I went inside and started doing some channel surfing when I found a show. It was as if God was saying "Stop and rest my child, this is your day" It was a marathon of "The Greatest American Hero." One of the great shows of the 80's with hands down the best theme show...sing it if you know it "Believe it or not I'm walking on air..." While watching this show I notice every so often an emergency would happen and they would have to find a phone to call someone. It made me think how much some movies and TV show's would be totally different if they were made today. I mean just think of all the screwy mix-ups that would have been solved in shows like "Three's Company". Chrisy could have just called Jack on his cell and say don't come to the apartment with your date Mr. Roper is here. Or the times the Huxtable kids would come home late and Bill would be waiting up. The excuse of, couldn't find a phone to call home, does not work in this generation. Technology has changed they way TV shows and movies are written. Thank goodness that some of these shows were created in the era they were in. Otherwise where would have Clark Kent changed into Superman?