Happy St. Patrick’s Day

You don’t see my green and I don’t care

Pinch me if you want, but don’t pull my hair

But before you do, take a look at my underwear.

This has been a very revealing week. I have learned a few things you can and can’t do as a single but can and can’t do when you get married. For instance:

SINGLE- You can watch whatever you want and whenever you want on TV. No matter how childish or stupid it is.
MARRIED- You can’t watch your favorite cartoon or sci-fi movie when your wife is in control of the remote.

SINGLE- You can set the temperature of the house to anything that makes you feel comfortable.
MARRIED- YOU can get up out of bed in the middle of the night and change the temperature when the wife asks, “Does it feel cold in here?”

SINGLE- You can eat fast food for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
MARRIED- You can eat wonderful home cook meals prepared by your wife to make sure that the rest of your arteries are not clog up with anymore fast food grease.

SINGLE- You can not ACCIDENTALY burp in your girlfriend’s face before you kiss her. This is gross and will probably lead to an instant break up.
MARRIED- You can however, ACCIDENTALY burp in your wife’s face after a big meal after she insists of wanting a kiss, even though you warned her that it was not a good time. You really shouldn’t do that either, but your wife can’t break up with you if you do.

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