Day 5

We were finally getting into vacation mode and relaxing and enjoying ourselves. It was time for my wife to have some real fun. It would be a day of shopping. Our port today was Cozumel. We were a little worried because the night before we heard from our dinner guest that were military, that to be careful if you wander from the port it is kind of a dangerous place. Just great, my mother and I have an ongoing joke that she is worried that I would be kid napped by Mexicans one day. Why I don’t know, but I would never hear the end of it if it ever came true. In fact if it did, I would ask for them not to pay for the ransom so I would not have to hear the, “I told you so”, from my mother.

So we go off the boat very excited to see things we normally would not see back home. To our surprise when you get off the boat in order to get into Cozumel, you have to walk through a liquor store first. Plus it was a gift shop, but it was basically the same type of store you would see at a mall. So we pushed our way through and finally made it to Cozumel.  It was a very neat set up. Little stores all over the place, and I was on a mission.

The day before when we were at Cayman Islands, my head was hot and sweaty because the hat I brought along was a thick material. It’s not a pretty thing to see a bald man sweat and constantly having to wipe his head off so the beads of salty moisture do not roll into the eyes. So I was looking for a new hat, bald men must wear hats in the sun or they end up walking around looking like they have a tomato for a head. My wife was with me hoping I would just pick out a normal, lighter weight ball cap. But I had something different in mind. How often does a person get to shop on foreign land? I wanted what the natives would normally wear. A straw cowboy hat, you would think this would be easy to find since this was local apparel. But they were not a lot to choose from. They were either way too expensive, I could buy the same thing at the same price at the local store down the street from my home. Or, they never looked right. I would either look like the social reject from Mayberry or one those people in the funny photos that you e-mail to all your friends. Normally I would not care, but I was walking around with my wife and I did not want to be an embarrassment to her. I know too late for that.

Then I glanced in this little gift store and there it was, a straw hat with a bandana wrapped around it. It looked perfect, and the price. $4.00! I was so happy. I wore that hat proudly like I had just won a prize. It was perfect; light weight and little gaps that let the wind blow through. Plus, it had a nice rim that kept shade on me. My wife was so pleased that I was happy and didn’t have to hear me complain for the rest of the trip on how hot I was. She was a little embarrassed by the hat, because it did stand out in the crowd. But I got my validation later on in the day when some guy taps me on the shoulder. I turned around and he points at his head and says, “You inspired me.” It was kind of a Jerry Maguire moment when he says “You complete me.” He was wearing the same hat. That’s right I’m a trend setter.

So after we got done shopping we decided we might explore a little outside the port area. We stepped out of the gated area; looked to the left, looked to right, looked at each other and decided we were both chicken. It did not look like the glamorous scenery that you see on TV and movies. We remember what our military friends said to us the night before and decided to just go back to the ship and relax.

Later that evening we caught a comedy show. It was ok. I think it was Bill Cosby that said that if you have to cuss to be funny, then you are not funny and you are lazy. I never understood why the F-bomb is a funny word and how it worked its way into our language. Oh well, we had a fun day and I got a hat that I can’t wait till this summer to wear around. Check out what we ate that day at www.gabbin-bout-grub.blogspot.com

Day 4 out at sea

Day 4 of the cruise.

You know the saying, now I've seen it all. Well on this particular day I almost saw all of it, more on that later. This was our first day going to a port; we were going to Cayman Island. We were excited that morning and headed to the diner for breakfast. It was a calm breakfast as we sat with other travelers. We discussed what we were doing that day. The majority of us were going to swim with the sting rays, but there was an older couple at the table. Seems that they did cruises frequently, and they had seen most of the island. So the wife let her husband decide what they were going to do. He excitedly said they were going to a car museum. The wife trying to hold back her tears as she shook her head in disbelief that her husband for who knows how many years, signed them up to go to a car museum while they were on a beautiful island. The high point for him was that they had the Bat mobile. I admit part of me wanted to go check it out. But, I think you have to married more than three years to get away with something like that.

So off we went to start our adventure, we toured the island shops for a while. It was very hot that day, so it was taking a lot out of me walking around. So we decided to go to the area we were supposed to meet our tour guide. But apparently we were getting a show with our tour. I was standing there talking to my wife, when a look of shock came over her face. I turned around to see what was behind me and I saw a guy standing there in his tighty whites. It seems he thought the best place to change into his bathing suit was right there in the middle of the island for everyone to see. I was just praying please stop at the underwear, please. He did, but it still made me wonder where this guy was from, that he thought that this was an ok thing to do. I sat next to him on the bus ride, fearing that he might decide to change his close again; I tried to keep space between us. Then he began to speak to his wife in some strange language that I could not identify. I imaged he must come from some foreign land where people just casually walk around in their underwear. Or he was from California.

So we get to the boat dock to get on the boats that were going to take us where the sting rays were. All this time I’m thinking, I’m going to get stung in the chest like that alligator guy and die or I’m not going to be able to swim away fast enough from something that might try to eat me. To my surprise it was nothing like that. First of all, this was a big tourist attraction; boats were everywhere, people all over the place splashing and having a good time. The water was like looking through a window it was so clear. It was only about 5 feet deep, so my fear of trying to swim away from something was gone, I figured I could out run anything.

So we go in the water. Here’s a tip when swimming in the ocean or gulf; keep your mouth shut. Did you know that ocean water had salt in it? Duh. I jumped in like I would in my pool at home and got a big mouth full of pure ocean salt water. I got done gaging just in time to see a sting ray the size of Rhode Island swim by me. Our tour guide dives after this beast that looked like it once battle Godzilla and brings it above water in his arms. He began to pet it and kiss it, and I’m thinking this guy is nuts. Then he started to tell us how friendly sting rays are and how their stinger is just this little tiny stub on their tales and they only use it when they feel threatened. So he asked who wanted to kiss her and get a massage from her. I’m thinking this is no longer a family friendly tour. But I gave it a try. All you had to do was hold your arms out in front of you and make a hoop, and they swim right up to you. I planted a big kiss on that sting ray. I was shocked that my wife also did as well. Then the tour guide placed the sting ray on your back and it began to move around to give the best massages ever. I wanted to take one home for a pet by the end of the trip, but my wife informed that it probably would not survive very well in our pool.

Then we were off to do some snorkeling. That was fun, but the ocean was rough. So most of the time when I had my face in the water and my snorkel was pointing out, a big wave would come by splash on top of me, forcing that wonderful salt water down my snorkel. It was like sticking a straw in ocean and just sucking in and having it go straight down my throat. But, you know the movie about the fish “Finding Nemo”. I found him. He swam right passed me. I was a little disappointed that he wasn’t singing and I didn’t have anything on me for him to autograph. It was cool to see all the sea life so clearly. Then one of the other people on the boat was shocked when they turned around and a sting ray was right there. It seemed one of them had followed us. His name was Frisbee. It was a string ray that had lost his tail. What an original name. I wonder if he got picked on by the other sting rays, poor guy.

We started to head back to shore. When one of the tour guides just jumps off the boat and goes straight to the bottom of the ocean, he was like Aqua-man. He came back up with this huge conch shell. He brings it on the boat and rips the meat out of it and asked who wanted a piece. My wife gives me this look like don’t you dare, but of course I did. It was good, it tasted like sushi. He said it was an aphrodisiac. I grabbed a handful more. Hey, we are on vacation, might as well make the most of it. My wife has always wanted a conch shell for the house. So Aqua-man jumps off the boat and must have talked to some of his fish friends, because within minutes he was coming back up with a huge conch shell.

Here’s the thing about conch shells. They do not come out of the ocean looking all shiny and pretty. They are covered in sea moss and dirt and look like they come from the waste dump of the ocean. So the head tour guide gave us instructions on how to clean it. Then he did one of the coolest thing I ever seen. He opened the sails on the boat. It was awesome watching them get caught up in the wind. He turned off the motor and we spent the rest of the afternoon sailing to shore. It was a great ending to a fun day. Then we started to walk back to the ship. We could not identify this horrible smell that seemed to be following us around. Then the thought popped into my head that we were carrying this thing that looked like it came out of someone’s septic tank. That conch shell was putting off this extreme odor. My wife could not imagine having this thing with us for the remainder of the cruise in our tiny cabin and plus the drive home. So we just placed it on this empty chair we saw and left our souvenir behind. Oh well it was still a great day. Plus we learned a few things. One, sting rays are like dogs, they are man’s best friends. Two, I’ll eat anything that comes out of something that smells and looks like it came from Aqua-man’s bathroom. Find out what else I ate on the cruise at www.gabbin-bout-grub.blogspot.com

Day 3

Life is finally getting back to normal so I am able to get back into the routine of doing these blogs, so back to the story of our 7 day adventure on the sea... 

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. It was the first full day on the boat. We woke up and conquered the breakfast buffet. More on that at www.gabbin-bout-grub.blogspot.com. After breakfast we put on our bathing suits and were off to find a quiet spot by the pool. What were we thinking, thousands of people on the boat and we thought we were going to find our own nice quiet spot... Yeah right. The first placed we tried was the Serenity Deck. This was a so called area where kids were not allowed. What we did not know that only meant little kids; the bigger kids just drank a lot and made even more noise than the little kids did. So the whole purpose of this area was for the parents not to drink and act like idiots around their kids. After we sat there for about five minutes and discovered that we were getting drunk of the other passengers breath we decided to find another area.

We ventured off to the upper deck and found a nice spot where there were very few people were sitting. After about 10 minutes more people started to gather around us, no problem, don't make eye contact with wild animals and they will leave you alone. My wife sat next to a nice young couple, who actually seemed normal. I think they were happy to find other civilians on the boat that could pass a sobriety test. They were far enough away that I did not have to engage in the conversation too much, so I just read the book I brought along. Then IT sat next to me. This old lady wearing a bathing suit that did not cover enough and what was exposed gave up the fight against gravity about 25 years ago. I just told myself over and over again. Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact. I could feel her lazy eye trying to stare a whole in the back of head, hoping to start a conversation. But I was saved, someone sat to the other side of her. So she twisted and flopped her skin the opposite direction and began to chat with her victim. I was trying not to listen in, but I couldn't resist. All she talked about was how many cruises she had been on and where she had been. Then she announced that it was time for a hot dog break. She asked her new friend if they would like one, he said no he didn't want to spend the extra money. She laughed and said “Sweety it's all you can eat, it's free.” I kind of chuckled as well and thought that I missed out on an opportunity for someone to go get me a hotdog. Then she returned while swallowing the hotdog whole. Out of nowhere another hot dog appeared, I had no idea and did not want to know where she was hiding it. There was no way that bathing suit had pockets. I just went back to my book and tried to put the image out of my mind.

We then went to the other side of the boat. The sun was moving and we were trying to find some shade. So we found another nice little spot where no one was at. But again, people found their way toward us. I was beginning to think that people would see us and say “Hey those two look like they are trying to relax, let’s sit by them and annoy the heck out of them.” First it was some older people who did not like the way the chairs were situated and had to do an episode of HGTV and take a ½ an hour rearranging them. When they finally got them the way they wanted, they got up and walked away. I've never shot a gun before, but if I had one they would be the first people I try it on. We finally had a few moments to relax when they started a hairy chest contest on the deck below. I'm not bragging, but I would put some animals in the zoo to shame with my chest hair. So we thought we would get a good laugh and watch some guys make a fool out of themselves, right at that point these little brats decided that the best place to watch was right in front of us. I mean one of the kids was practically standing on my chair. I was holding back from taking the little punk and tossing him overboard. I had convinced myself that I would be making the future a better place by getting rid of one brat, and any kid who acted like this I would get a thank you from his parents. But, I resisted and the kids finally moved on. We spent the rest of the day moving around the boat, looking for solitude. The evening did end up great when we found a big lounge chair for two and watched the sun set. Over all it was a good day.

Please read more about our adventure and the food we ate on the boat at www.gabbin-bout-grub.blogspot.com

Oh Christmas Tree

I am interrupting the vacation story to blog about Christmas. So Merry Christmas everyone.

When I was single I had this pathetic looking tree. I don't even think it was a Christmas tree, I think I just bought something that had some pine needles on it. Now my wife and I have two Christmas trees. We bought one with pre-lit white lights and got a great deal on another with colored lights. We use the bigger one for the living room. My wife decorates it with all the nice pretty ornaments that she has collected over the years. The other tree is my tree. I recently started a collection of cartoon ornaments. I have Muppets, Peanuts and Looney Toones.

Looking at the two Christmas trees had me thinking that they do represent what Christmas is about. They are covered with things that we love or remember. Along with my cartoon ornaments, are some very old glass bulbs that were handed down to me from my parents. Most belonged to my Dad when he was a kid. I love looking at my tree and seeing those old ornaments and remembering Christmases past. I would be awake all night waiting for Santa, trying to hear when he would show up. Our chimney was not very safe, but I knew when he left because he would slam the front door. I would be the first out of bed. It did not matter if it was 3:00 in the morning, I would have everybody up to see what Ol' Saint Nick left.

On the other tree, my wife and I started a collection of buying an ornament that represents where we went on vacation. We recently got to add a star fish and a sombrero that we bought in Mexico on our cruise. There are also ornaments from Sea World, Bush Gardens and one from Disney that we got on our honeymoon that started it all. Christmas trees have personalities that represent the things we love or loved in the past.

Where did the Christmas Tree come from;

"There is no evidence that the modern custom of a Christmas tree originated in paganism. The Romans did decorate their houses with greens and lights and exchanged gifts. Late in the Middle Ages, the Germans and Scandinavians placed evergreen trees in their homes or outside their doors to show their hope in the forthcoming spring. The modern-day Christmas tree evolved from these early German traditions. " From allabouthistory.org

Then consider what we put under the Christmas tree....PRESENTS!!! We buy gifts for the people in our life to show how much we love them. We stress out trying to find the perfect gift to show how much we love that person. We try to teach kids it's not the getting it's the giving.

So why did I pick Christmas Trees as my topic for this joyful season. Because it is the theme of my favorite Christmas TV special “A Charlie Brown Christmas” There is a scene where Charlie Brown and Linus are picking out a tree and Charlie Brown picks out the worst looking tree in the lot. Linus had two of the best lines in the story. The second one is;

Linus says: "I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love."

Isn't that Christmas, showing people a little love. Not just family and friends. But this is a time of year we are nice to strangers and maybe go out of our way for those less fortunate. The Christmas season seems to be a time when everyone tries to show a little love to each other.

But lets face it, all we really care about is the gifts. That is what Christmas is about the Gift. The gift of the Son from the Father to us all. The gift of the Savior or as Linus would put it from the ornament that started my collection (you may need to turn up the volume on your speakers);

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Vacation on Cruise-Day 2

From the theme of Gilligan's Island

Sit right back and hear a tale

A tale of a fateful trip

That started from this tropic port

Aboard this tiny ship…. 

Sadly I did not have to look up the words to the song; also we were not on a tiny ship. It was a very large ship with more people than just Mr. and Mrs. Howell, though most of the people were their age or older. We got to the port to start our cruise. The people watching had begun. As we looked around the waiting area we were noticing that we may be the only normal people getting on this boat. Most of these people looked like they just rolled out of bed and maybe took a shower before showing up. The other people getting on board were newlyweds. You could tell because they would stare at each other, smile and laugh. Then the minute one turned away the other would have a look of horror on their face, wondering what had they just done. Then you had the cheap people. You have to pay for drinks while on the boat, except for water and lemon-aid. But, the cruise will let you carry on your own sodas. So I saw husbands, fiancés, and boyfriends carry around bulks of soda they just bought at Sam's club. 

So it was time to board the ship. You were able to relax on deck until it was time for lunch. I was shock at the number of people on this boat, and what was also shocking was that some of them were already in their bathing suits, lying out in the sun within minutes of getting on. Unfortunately I had to see all these people in their bathing suits throughout the week. I definitely was not cruising with Mary Ann and Ginger. They were mostly a bunch of Skippers and very large Islanders.

Then it was lunch time. Like a herd of cows everyone rushed toward the feeding trough. This was serious business and it was every man, woman, and child for themselves. People were pushing and cutting in lines like it was their last meal. It's all you can eat; I thought they were going to eat it all that day. More about the food at gabbin-bout-grub. 

So after lunch we stood out on the back of the deck and watched the shore line as we sailed away. We worked our away to the front of the boat to watch one of many sunsets that week. If you ever get to leave the Tampa port, be sure to get to the highest point of the boat as you possibly can. The boats have to go under one of the longest bridges in the south, and there is only a 10 foot clearance from the top of the ship to the bottom of the bridge. If you are up there watching it, it looks like it is going to crash into each other. Once under the bridge you are in foreign water and it's time to turn off the cell phone. Or else you will get a very high roaming charge on your bill. During this time we met a very nice couple and ended up in someone’s wedding photos. Not by accident, we were asked to be a part of it. The photographer asked us to look at the couple with our hands in the air in celebration. That was a little weird and this couple will be looking at their album later on in life wondering who these crazy people were at their wedding.

The rest of the evening we explored the boat until dinner. We saw a bar, another bar, a casino, and then another bar. We did find one of best spots on the boat. The all you can eat ice cream bar. The other spot was the 24 hour pizza buffet. Really it was a very nice ship, with plenty to look at and do. When in doubt you just find a spot by the pool and relax, which we did until dinner. To be continued at www.gabbin-bout-grub.blogspot.com

The Vacation - The drive.

Life has been getting in the way a lot lately. From punk neighborhood kids to police officers that do not want to do their jobs. Ever wish you could live in Mayberry for one day. All that is for a later blog, the wife and I got to take a break from life for a while when we went on our cruise. The problem came when the rest of the world came with us. Jerry Seinfeld once said on his show that only about 2% of the population is good looking. Sitting in the port waiting to get on the boat I would agree. But let’s start at the beginning of the trip.

We started off Saturday morning. I wasn't feeling good the night before so I took some cold and flu medicine before we left. The box said it was for day time, but that must have only meant that it was orange instead of blue like the night time ones. You know that little writing on the box that says do not operate heavy machinery after taking the medicine. They actually mean that. I was feeling like I was floating in the clouds. I was doing all I could to concentrate on the road. My wife knew something was up when I cranked up Led Zepplin (not something I normally listen to). I pulled off at the next rest area so we could switch drivers.

Rest Areas are so interesting, one big bathroom on the side of the road. I always walk in hoping I am the only one in there, also wishing I was the only one to ever use the facility. Purposely trying not to touch anything, using elbows whenever possible. You feel like you need to wash your hands after you washed your hands in the restroom sinks. Not to mention the people. People do not care who is watching them when they have to use the bathroom really bad. They are pulling certain articles of clothing from their behinds and doing their versions of the pee pee dance. Then they stare at the vending machines hoping they can find something that will ease their hunger pain with the change they found under the car seats.

Once back on the road my wife took over driving. We like to amuse ourselves with the stuff written on the billboards. There is everything for Bible scripture to advertisements for Adult Stores. They even have places to eat for adults only. That is so shocking and I always wonder what type of weirdo wants to eat at a place where you have to wonder what body part has touched your food or what the person in the booth behind you is doing. The other billboards we had fun with were the ones that had these puppies being used to advertise a hotel. The puppies were cute but I don't remember the hotel so it wasn't very good advertising.

One of the worst parts about driving somewhere is the other drivers. It just seems like some people are in their own little world when they drive. While the rest of state is driving the speed limit or just little above, maybe even a little more than above the listed speed limit. You have this one person who feels the need to drive at a snails pace in the middle of the highway. Once you get stuck behind this person, they are almost impossible to past. For one the other drivers are flying pass you, pointing and laughing because you made the mistake to get behind the probably 101 year old lady who can't see over the steering wheel. The other reason is that every time you go to pass, the person in front of you, who probably learn to drive on the first automobile ever made, decides to speed up at the last minute. Then you have the other idiot drivers who want to live out their dream of driving a NASCAR. They are doing mach 10, weaving in front of people, and probably a confederate flag waving off their antenna. If you are are able to see the passenger, they will most likely have their bare foot up on the dash board or hanging out the window. You think to yourself two things; one I hope there is a cop waiting up there to catch them and two, I wish I could go that fast without getting caught.

After 6 hours of driving we make it to the hotel to get a good night rest to start our long vacation the next day.... Check back to hear about our ocean adventure and also check out gabbin-bout-grub to read about the food we had.

Attack of the Armadillo

I was attacked by an armadillo! That’s right, it something you don’t hear often, but it actually occurred. Of all creatures of the night, I stood face to face with the horrible armadillo. Sure in the cartoons they are cute woodland animals, but when you see one, they are the devil’s pets.

I had been going to work early in the morning, the sun not even up. The last few days have been peaceful. I get the office to myself, no phone calls, and no interruptions while I work. So I had been looking forward to being productive that morning. I pulled into the parking lot and my headlights hit the gnarly beast blocking my way to the office door. At first I thought it was an opossum, the distance cousin. Opossums are harmless; we used to have one growing up. It would come up on the porch and eat the cat’s food. We flick on the porch light, it would look up at us and nod its head like it was saying ‘Was up’ and go on its way. When I took a second glance and saw its rigid covering and pointy schnozzle, I drove to the other side of the parking lot to study the creature from a far. He looked like he was eating on his latest prey. I don’t know what prey to the mighty armadillo is, but I didn’t want to be next.

I drove around to its back side, hoping to go unnoticed I turned off my head lights. When I got close enough I hit him with my bright lights and laid down on my horn hoping to shock the hard shell rodent. Nope, he just looked up at me with his beady little eyes and continued to devour his victim. I put my car in reverse and drove to a parking spot to think of my next attack. He sat there in front of the entrance taunting me. So I did what any man would do in that situation, I called my wife. There was no time for small talk, I just blurted out, “Are armadillos dangerous?”

“What are you talking about?” she said confused.

“There is an armadillo blocking my way into the office and I don’t want to walk up to it if it is going to attack me.” I said with a little fear in my voice.

“I have no idea if they are dangerous or not, I can look it up on the internet.” My caring wife said while trying not to laugh at me. “Do you want to start carrying my pepper spray?”

“That’s ok; I think I see it walking into the bushes.” I said with a little relief.

So I go to the office door with my key ready to unlock it knowing that the monster was lurking in the bushes waiting to pounce on me. I quickly unlocked the door like a frightened kid in a horror movie. I get into the building knowing that the armadillo ran past me when I opened the door. I looked around and was satisfied that I was safe. I’m waiting for the sun to come up before I come into work early again.

Holy Man Cave, Bat Man!

My wife and I have been talking about our dream house since we have been married. Our little three bedroom house just isn’t big enough for us. It was fine when I was living as a bachelor. But, when I got married, I found all my stuff was either being thrown out or sold. What little I do have left is crammed in a corner in a spare room we set up for an office. I also have a small area in the garage I’m allowed to make use of when the cars are not parked in there, which is 95% of the time. So part of my dream house is to have a nice big room I can call my own, aka The Man Cave.

I could not really decide if I would prefer a nice bonus room above a garage that would let in some natural light and have access to the rest of the house. Or a basement with lots of room to spread out and have different functional areas like; a work-out area (yeah right), office area, and a pool table of course. The decision was easy after visiting some friends of ours and saw their finished basement. It was like having another whole house. Then I thought to myself, of course Bat Man.

Bat Man is a favorite to every guy. Why? Not because his alter ego Bruce Wayne has millions of dollars, not because he gets to go on cool adventures and fight crime, and definitely not because he hangs out with other guys wearing tights. It’s because he has the Bat Cave. Every guy at one point or another thought it would be cool to have an underground hideout to get away from the world; hanging out in a cool cavern, surrounded by high tech gadgets, and a sports car (the Bat Mobile) in the background that the chicks dig. The Bat Cave is what made Bat Man a super hero favorite.

So a basement is what I want as part of my dream house, a Man Cave.  It will be a place that I can hang out in solitude and veg out from the stress of the world. My high tech gadgets would be my computer, video games and guitars. I may not have the cool sports car, but that’s what posters are for. That’s right a place that I can hang a picture of Snoopy next to a picture of the Three Stooges. No flowers allowed. If I want to sit around in a cape and tights that might be a plus, but I would have the privacy to do so if I wanted. I will allow my wife to come down in the basement once in a while, after all even Bat Man had Alfred his butler.

Thank you 9/11

Thank you 9/11

The challenge of this day is to remember. It is easy to remember where you were at, what you were doing, and what was happening. But can we look back and remember what we can be thankful for?

Thank you 9/11

Thank you for those that lost loved ones, your loss is great and I have prayed that time has taken the pain away, but others are reminded to be thankful for the loved ones we have around us now.

Thank you for reminding us that we have the freedom to pray.

Thank you for the public servants of the police, fire department and many more that went out that day to do a job, which reminds us that the job they have is also a duty to us.

Thank you for 9/12, which reminds us of the next day seeing all the flags waving with American pride, knowing we would overcome and “our flag was still there”.

Thank you to those who started to search for survivors, which reminds us that when this country has a tragedy, all differences are put aside and we band together to help each other, Like “One Nation Under God.”

Thank you for reminding us that we live in a great country, that we have the freedom to have a different opinion than our neighbors and still live in peace.

Thank you to those who found a cross under the debris and stood it up as a symbol of Hope.

Thank you for reminding us that we live in a country that allows us to raise a cross and freely worship it.

Thank you Todd Beamer for saying “Let’s Roll”, reminding us of the American spirit of fighting for what is right no matter the sacrifice.

Thank you to Todd Beamer’s family

Thank you to President George W. Bush for repeating those words “Let’s Roll.” Taking the fight to the terrorist and protecting this county.

Thank you to the military for taking action and making us feel safe.

Thank you to the families that have; a son, daughter, mom, dad, wife, and husband which are serving in the military. Your sacrifice to us does not go unnoticed.

Thank you to all military Past and Present, that we have the freedoms that allow us to say “God Bless America.”

Thank you President Barack Obama for continuing the fight and keeping this nation safe.

Thank you for May 2, 2011, the day our military took down the main terrorist.

Thank you 9/11 for reminding us how important our government leaders are.

Thank you also for reminding us that we have the freedom to vote for those leaders.

Thank you to all that kept on living, going to work, paying bills, going out on a Saturday night date, getting married, having babies, etc… “The terrorist did not win.”

Thank you 9/11, we now have 9/12 and beyond to be thankful for. To remember how great our country is, the people who protect it, the people who live here, and the freedoms that we have. Like saying “God Bless America”

Lamentations 3:21-23

Yet I called this to mind, and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!

Pepper Spray and Kittens in this Crazy World

It goes without saying that this world is a crazy place. Probably because there are just some crazy people in it, just look to your left and to the right you’ll see what I’m talking about. If there is no one around, take a look in the mirror…. There ya’ go.

My wife likes to go running at the park across the street. So being the protective husband I am, and not being able to be with her all the time, I bought her some pepper spray for a little protection. I would hope I wouldn’t have to worry about anything bad happening, but like I said this is a crazy world we live in. While my wife was running one day she came across some kittens that were in a storm drain.

Enter Crazy person number one; some cruel person just decides to dumb these kittens in a park to fend for themselves. I wish I knew who they were so I could shove them in a storm drain and walk away. So my wife calls me up and tells me about the kittens. I tell her to leave them there and either call animal control, or one of the kids that practice football there will beg their parents to take them home. I also agreed to go check on them that night when I got home from work. So we go to the park after diner to check on the kittens, and there they were lying around on the parking lot. The parents and kids were leaving and just walking by the kittens as if they didn’t exist.

Enter Crazy people number two through at least 15; these people didn’t care that these little kittens were just lying there almost dehydrated and starving. You would think one of these people with their many bottles and coolers of water would have given something to these helpless animals. On top of that their little punk kids were trying to scare the kittens by screaming and jumping at them. The parents just let them do it and did not saying anything. The Bible says spare the rod, spoil the child. I was looking for my rod for both the kids and the adults. So we caught one of the kittens, the other one was too scared and ran back into the storm drain. We took the one home and got it some food and water, and then we went back for the other thinking it might not be as scared when there were not as many crazy people at the park.

Enter Crazy person 16; myself. So here I am about 9:00 at night chasing a little black fur ball around the park. Thinking to myself; I was crazy thinking that my wife would ever just leave these kittens out here, I was crazy thinking that they would never end up at my house, and now we are going to be known as the crazy cat people of the neighborhood because we are going to have four cats (we already have two) running around our place. Now I just have to convince some other crazy person to adopt one of these kittens. What type of crazy world do we live in that the same place where my wife needs pepper spray to go running there are cute little kittens running around?

Back to school

Remember going back to school as a young kid and your first assignment was to write a report on “What I did over the summer.” One year I was so excited to report that my parents got me a tent and I camped in my backyard almost every night. Since school has started back for most kids I thought I would give my summer report.

Over the summer I went to work every day and on the weekends I; put screen boards on the back porch, mowed the lawn, cleaned the garage, put up a ceiling fan. We did go to the beach for a week, but after that; we had to replace the pool pump and AC unit, my battery died on my car and I hit my head on a rock while tubing down a river. When did I become an adult and my summers quit being fun. I think I’m going to pitch a tent in my backyard this weekend and get some of my old comic books and a flash light.

Welcome back to school kids. I am a little jealous that I don’t get to shop for back to school supplies. I miss getting a new box of crayons and picking out a cool lunch box.

Long Summer

I originally started this blog to just keep things separate from my other two blogs (Gabbin-bout-Grub) and The Bachelor Pad). So I don’t write here often, but this summer has been long. Kids would probably love to have a long summer. But, when adults say something is long, that is never a good sign.

First, before we go on our vacation we have been having trouble with our neighbors kid a.k.a. Satan JR. He seems to think it is fun for him and his friends to throw their liquor bottles in our pool. Well I think it would be fun to put my fist in his nose, but doesn’t mean I should do it. So we spent MONEY to put a big fence on the neighbor’s side of the pool. We get back from vacation, ready to enjoy the privacy of our pool and we have a leak in our pool filter. Call a pool guy to fix it, he makes it worse and tells us we need to get a whole new filter and pump. Luckily he never charged us for his visit of making matters worse, because he couldn’t fix anything. But we had to spend more MONEY for a pump and filter. So after waiting two weeks for our new pool parts we had to spend more MONEY on chemicals because our pool was so green from not having the filter running for two weeks. So we get our pool up and running in time for one of the hottest days of the year, when our AC unit breaks down. Guess what? We have to spend more MONEY to get that replaced.

So not only is a long summer not a good thing, but it also means you have to spend a lot of MONEY. Hopefully we won’t be in for a long winter.

It looks like my last post was sometime in April. It's not my fault, I always said I would post stuff until life got in the way and life got in the way. Things like the capture of Bin Laden and the prediction of the end of the world. Not that I was personally involved in any of those things. The wife and I went to the beach for a week to take a break from life and now that we are back and refreshed, I feel like sharing whats been happening on this post and the next couple of ones. So stayed tuned.

Mostly work, work work has been going on. Not that I am complaining because in today's economy I am thankful to be working. But it's not just my day job, as I stated a few months ago I am trying to earn a little money on the side by doing some graphic design work. I have put some bids on some interesting projects. My favorite so far was for a Mexican clown that did Micheal Jackson impersonations. Yes you read that correctly, he wanted a character of his clown for a coloring book to give to kids at birthday parties. It's been a tough start, but I am having fun seeing what people need for graphics. So if you hear of anything send them my way and check out http://www.jason-miller-design.com/

The other thing that has been going on is that we have been terrorized by the neighbors. These little punks have had big parties with loud music and underage drinking. Whatever, just keep it in your own yard. No, not them, they decided it would be fun to throw cookies in our pool. Ok, just cookies I cleaned them out. Then they decided to throw wine cooler bottles in the pool, along with trashing my yard with beer cans. Each time I call the police they tell me they can't do anything because we did not actually see it with our eyes. They suggested to get motion cameras to catch them in the act. I wanted to tell the cops that I just won't pay my taxes that help pay their salary and use that money to buy a security camera. They did have a talk with the kids and made them clean my yard. We have since built a tall privacy fence on that side of the pool and it has been nice not seeing them and having almost total privacy. I like standing on my side of the fence and sticking my tongue out at them. Yeah they can't see me, but it's like a victory dance to me.

So here is what I don't understand. I have to stay up at night, peeking out my windows, hoping to catch the kid next door in the act of doing something dumb. But while at the beach, surrounded by people we don't know, we can walk away from our stuff for hours and nothing is touched. I don't just mean that we walked a few feet away. I mean we left our chairs, beach umbrella, and whatever else we took, went back to our condo for lunch for about an hour or more and came back with nothing ever been touched. It wasn't just us, people would leave there stuff out over night and it would still be sitting there the next day. Maybe it is the beach life, playing in the ocean or the sand between the toes, the people there just live a different way and are just so relaxed and nice. So I'm thinking I should take the kid next door and hold his head under some water and bury him up to his neck in some dirt somewhere. Anyways I was able to do some drawing while I was there. The picture is what almost every kid looked like at the beach.

This past weekend was very amusing. Friday nights my wife and I have started a little tradition, Fun Food Fridays. Through out the week we eat kind of healthy, but on Friday we have a little fun and eat something greasy or something that we know is not good for us. Anything from pizza, wings and Philly Cheese Steaks and always with a side of fries, I look forward to Friday. We also watch some movie together. We end up laying on the couch until 11:30 or later depending on what we find on TV. Typically my wife is asleep next to me by 9:30, so that’s when I watch what I want and eat a little more of whatever is leftover. I enjoy Friday night.

This weekend had an extra bonus. My brother-in-law had a birthday and we all went out to eat. We went to a place that all you can eat salad bar and MEAT for $50. That’s right, all you can eat MEAT. Everything from steak and chicken to lamb, it was a never ending supply of MEAT. You have a little card next to you; one side is red for stop the other sides green for go. Red for stop bringing the meat and green for bring it on. The servers come out of no where and just cut pieces of meat from their skewers. Picture it; men running around with big ol’ slabs of meat on a stick at your beck and call to serve you grade ‘A’ cuts of beef, cooked perfectly. On top of that, they had these rolls that just popped perfectly in your mouth. I’ll just say I had my $50 worth. While everyone else was kicked backed and groaning, I was still going at it. I think I heard my name being chanted in the background. Go Jason Go. At one point I looked up at one of the servers that were putting a lamb chop on my plate, “I’ve been waiting for you all night.” There is nothing like topping off a long week with a MEAT fest.

That morning we took my cat to the vet. The devil’s cat as some likes to call him. It was no problem getting him into the carrier. He rode in the car like a dog, sitting in my lap looking out the window. When we got to the vet he sat in his carrier. You could see the confusion on his face. Then a Golden Retriever walks in. Lovable dog, just wanted to say hi to everyone. He got a little close to the cat carrier and my beast let out a might growl. Everyone in the office looked at us. The people next to us asked, “What type of DOG do you have in there?” when I replied it was a cat, they moved a little farther away from us. The vet, after warning her and hearing his roar, handled him like a lion tamer. Grabbing him by the back of the neck and throwing him down on the table. He tried to fight back but once they threw a towel over him, he didn’t have much of a chance. Until they called in a young tech. She was little cocky and thought she could be nice to the cat beast. He saw his chance and drew blood. I saw the look of satisfaction in his eyes, knowing he at least got a good shot at one of them. We took him home and he slept for the rest of the day. I bet they are still talking about him at the vet office, about the cat that fears no dog and takes no prisoners.

Life has been pretty uneventful lately. The most recent development is that I am trying to start a Graphic Design business on the side. I just really enjoy drawing and being creative. I have gotten a lot over the last 18 years as a drafter/designer, but I’m just extremely bored with it. Most of that time has been in the steel stud industry. I could just about tell you all you need to know about gauge of steel, galvanization, and c-studs. Sounds interesting don’t it? I spend most of my day talking to people about how long a 3-5/8”, 20 gauge stud, will span in an interior, non-load bearing condition, where the lateral load is 5 psf, with a deflection of L/240. In case you care it is 15’-9” at 16” O.C. It’s not much to go home to tell the wife about.

So a few months ago I took some graphic design courses. I enjoy combining my creative side with my knowledge of technology. Over time I have been working on ways to promote myself to gain a few side jobs. The image above was a character design I did for someone’s web site www.shipfinn.com. (I don’t think he has it up to date yet) It is about a kid’s story of moving place to place, I had to go through 3 or 4 different drawings to get him right. The guy kept on saying he wanted him to look like his 9 year old son only in a cartoon style. The first one I drew he said he looked too much like a teenager. His very words were “The drawing looks more like it is of an 11-12 year old boy, my boy is only 9 can you make him look younger.” That was a challenge to take 3 years off of cartoon character, but I achieved it by making him a little smaller. Point is I enjoyed doing it.

I am currently trying to get a bid to design T-shirts for a dog training school. They specialize in dog sports like; agility, dock diving, and sheep herding. So I sketched up some quick drawings shown below. I call them “The Judges are Full of Sheep.” I’m hoping to hear something back next week.

 
I like the fact that I am able to go from drawing a little boy in a back of a truck to dogs dancing, it keeps life very interesting. So if you know someone who needs some graphics done, I have a web site I am working on http://www.jason-miller-design.com/. If you need to know something about steel studs, go away or I’ll find one and knock you in the head with it! …. Just kidding.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

You don’t see my green and I don’t care

Pinch me if you want, but don’t pull my hair

But before you do, take a look at my underwear.

This has been a very revealing week. I have learned a few things you can and can’t do as a single but can and can’t do when you get married. For instance:

SINGLE- You can watch whatever you want and whenever you want on TV. No matter how childish or stupid it is.
MARRIED- You can’t watch your favorite cartoon or sci-fi movie when your wife is in control of the remote.

SINGLE- You can set the temperature of the house to anything that makes you feel comfortable.
MARRIED- YOU can get up out of bed in the middle of the night and change the temperature when the wife asks, “Does it feel cold in here?”

SINGLE- You can eat fast food for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
MARRIED- You can eat wonderful home cook meals prepared by your wife to make sure that the rest of your arteries are not clog up with anymore fast food grease.

SINGLE- You can not ACCIDENTALY burp in your girlfriend’s face before you kiss her. This is gross and will probably lead to an instant break up.
MARRIED- You can however, ACCIDENTALY burp in your wife’s face after a big meal after she insists of wanting a kiss, even though you warned her that it was not a good time. You really shouldn’t do that either, but your wife can’t break up with you if you do.

Please vote fot JT, Phil, Buddy, and Harold at http://www.thecartooniststudio.com/. It's kind of like the American Idol for comic strips. Search for my name Jason Miller and log on to vote.

Well some good news, “The Bachelor Pad” has made it to the second round in the comic strip competition. There are 10 rounds total, so keep up the voting and help me get through all 10 rounds to win a syndicate contract. Which is a big deal, it gives me the chance to work with editors and other people who will help me promote the comic and sell it to newspapers. So go to www.thecartoonstudio.com to vote.

Some bad news, the economy is still gong down hill. It is so bad that McDonalds is letting Ronald McDonald go. They say it is a new marketing plan and that he represents the old McDonalds. But I just think, like most companies, they are tired of paying some clown to stand around and do nothing. Oh well, as long as they don’t mess with the fries, I don’t care if they get Justin Bieber to sell their stuff. He needs to get a taste of the real world anyways. Put a paper hat on that kid, give him a mop, and tell him to go clean up after the 5 year old that just messed up the women’s bathroom. I’m a little tired of seeing this kid who hasn’t gone through puberty make millions because he needs a hair cut and can sing “Oh Baby Baby.” Meanwhile adults all over this country are hoping they can get a job mopping floors to provide for their families. Only in America.

Speaking of families, last week I wrote about my brother. I only think it is fair that I talk some about my sister. First let me point something out. My parents already had a boy, and then they had a girl. So they already had one of each. I always wondered if they had a bet of what they would have next, or if they thought they needed to give it one more try because the first two were not what they expected. Ok, I know I was a surprise. Being only 18 months younger than her we were only a grade apart from each other, which meant we typically were in the same school growing up. That was cool, we had each others back. Once in elementary school we walked around the playground, arms linked together, shouting we don’t stop for no one! Unfortunately for her she was the middle child between two boys. My brother and I would gang up on her when we had the chance. One time (when the parents were gone) we picked on her so bad; she slammed the door so hard it cracked it. We all got in some trouble after that one. She now lives in the south, not that far from me. We don’t see each other as often as we like, but it is nice knowing that there is some family close by. Even if it is the family member, that I still have a scar over my eye from where she pushed me off a table. Thanks sis.

I love living in the south. Here it is the beginning of March and it’s been in the 60’s everyday. This past weekend it reached to the 70’s. Meanwhile in the frozen tundra of the north, they still have snow on the ground in my home town of Akron. While my wife and I enjoyed the weekend outside doing a little yard work, my parents were still huddled in their house battling cabin fever. Yep, I love living in the south during this time of year. The two down sides are that pollen season is just around the corner. That’s the time of year when everything turns yellow and you almost have to wear some sort of mask to breathe outside. The other downside to living in the south is that I am away from my family and I miss out on some family events.

My niece turned 16 this week. I haven’t mentioned much of my siblings. I’m the youngest of three. The oldest, my brother, has two daughters, both teenagers. The middle child is my sister and she lives in the south as well. We got along ok growing up, we had our fights like most brothers and sisters do. My biggest problems was the hand me downs growing up. My brother’s clothes were out of style by the time I could wear them, and it just wasn’t right for my parents to try to pass off some of my sister’s stuff down to me. I shared a room with brother until he moved out when I was 18. Up to that point I had to put up with his snoring and a cramped room that wasn’t quite big enough for the two of us to be in there at the same time. He being the oldest meant I got booted out the majority of the time. But, we had some good times together; we would gain up on our sister and picked on her until she got mad, and my favorite memory was when my voice was changing and he had me talk to one of his girlfriends on the phone and pretend it was him. I moved away not too long after he had his first child. It’s hard to believe that the same guy, that when you walked into our room his half was all neat and clean and my half looked liked a war zone, has a 16 year old daughter. It would be fun to be there watching him teach her how to drive and see him react when a boy comes over to pick her up on a date. Last I heard from my mom, his hair is turning a little grey.

While my sister and me our able to drive around this time of year with our windows down enjoying the weather. Our brother is up north teaching his daughter how to drive the icy roads. As much as I would like to be around to watch him stress out over it, I at least have the comfort of knowing that I am not on the same roads with one new teenage driver. Even though everyone down here seems to drive like one, but that’s for another blog.

By the way I have enter a comic strip contest to try and win a sydicate contract. So if you like to see JT and the gang in the paper; log on to http://www.thecartooniststudio.com/ ,click on the "So You Wanna Be A Cartoonist Contest" in the upper left corner, type "Parents Visiting" in the search bar and click on the thumbs up. You can vote more than once. Please vote for me.

Ever just have one of those really bad weeks. I mean the ones where you wish the world would just blow up, because almost everything around you is spinning out of control. I’m having one of those weeks. It makes me understand why some people drink and smoke, they need something to relax. I don’t and won’t do either of those two things, but I will however indulge myself with some comfort food. Thank God my wife is a good cook. What did my wife make that relaxed me so much? A nice Turkey dinner with all the fixins, it was like watching a rerun of your favorite TV show (in this case Thanksgiving) and you knew how it was going to end. Passed out on the couch.

I’m not going to get into the details of what happened this week. I’ll just say some people are jerks. I think there should be a law that says if someone is being a jerk to you or your family; you should be allow to yank them by the ear into the nearest bathroom, shove their head into a toilet and flush, a.k.a “The Swirly”. This is how we handled things on the playground growing up. It worked so well. We were taught at that age to stand up to a bully and they would back down. When do you reach the age when that does not work anymore? When the bully becomes of age to be able to hire a lawyer and sue you. So society tells us to be nice and ignore those who annoy you and they will go away.

I just don’t believe this works for every situation. There are pirates in Somalia that are just annoying the heck out of boaters in that area. I really haven’t seen anybody take care of things. I guess they are using the philosophy to ignore them and they will go away. I don’t want to be the one to explain this reasoning to the families of the hostages that the pirates just killed. Egypt didn’t learn the lesson of ignore it and it will go away, when the people got sick of how the government was treating them so they decided to throw out the dictator. It might just be because I’m a little steamed by the bad week that I am having, but it just seems to me that the bullies of this world are protected, and I just keep on getting kicked in the groin and have to ignore it. Thank goodness for leftover Turkey and here’s hoping that next week is better.

Just some rambling about this week, first of all it was Valentine’s Day this past Monday. It was so much easier being single during this time of year. While most unmarried people looked at it as a SAD (Single Awareness Day) day, I always told myself that I was just saving money because I didn’t have to buy a gift for anyone. So now that I am married it is a requirement to show my love to my wife on that annoying day, because Hallmark told me so. I personally think that day was made up by women so they can get the men in their life to buy them chocolate, like a druggie needs a quick fix. So the pressure of what to buy my wife began the week before. Not only what to buy, but to find the time to buy it. With my wife, getting out of the house to buy her a gift without her knowing it, is like James Bond breaking out of a terrorist compound. But I was relieved when my wife said that she had someplace to go Saturday morning, so I had a clear break. Plus that evening she said she didn’t take Valentines Day that seriously. I shouted a little Amen in my head. Long story short, I got a cool vintage Snoopy tie tack and she got a video game she had been wanting (yes you read that correctly) and a bag of her favorite M&M’s. Yes Hallmark I bought a card too, so don’t send your goons after me.

I got a weird letter mailed to me this week. It was from the company where I bought my jeep. Seems they were checking their files and when they came across my name they crunched some numbers and figured out a way to lower my monthly payments. Now wasn’t that nice of them to take the time to do that and pick me out from all of the customers that they had sold cars to. It had to be legit because it looked to be hand written on a piece of their notebook paper, even had my name on it. The thing is my wife and I paid my Jeep off last year, which means I have no payments. So unless they are going to start giving me money, I don’t understand how my payments can be any lower than nothing. I thought about giving them a call just to have a good time with them, but figured my time would be better spent finishing installing the new garage door opener for my wife. That was the real Valentine’s Day gift and she loved that better than anything else I could have gotten for her, plus chocolate. Don’t ever forget the chocolates; they get a little mean when they can’t get their hit.